We Went Shopping

Chris and I went all over creation today to do some furniture shopping. We went to LaZboy, Furniture Fair, Value City Furniture (VC Boutique), Arhaus, Haverty's, and Sofa Express. There were several possibilities, but in the end, it came down to quality/price. We ruled out Value City because we were concerned about the quality of the leather. Oh yeah, we were shopping for leather. I wanted pants, but Chris wanted furniture. I'm the bitch in the relationship. Anyway, we ended up buying a couch, chair and ottoman from Sofa Express. The picture here shows the couch that we bought (although it looks slightly different in my opinion from the real thing). I'm just so happy to have some new furniture versus hand-me-downs. Come on over and check it out, my bitches!

Another Quick Survey

It's totally anonymous and it's 6 questions. This time, it's not about masturbation, it's about work. So, take a breath. And go here. Take the poll. Don't be a PUSSY.

Lots to do tomorrow

1. Drink. Just kidding.
1. Go shopping for new furniture
2. Clean the house
3. Go shopping for N.Y.E.
4. Prepare food for N.Y.E.
5. Masturbate
6. Drink. Not kidding.
6 1/2. Watch movie or play Texas Hold 'em or hmmm....blog
7. Pass Out

Halfway Through the Week

Today is Wednesday for me. Although, tomorrow will be Friday...as far as work goes. It's nice to have Monday and Friday off as holidays. It also helps that I'm working from home. Tee hee. So, I'm farting around here at home and I've downloaded a few songs. One of which is "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. It's sickeningly great. I highly suggest you, um, buy it. Other than that, I'm surfing the net looking at living room furniture. Chris and I paid off our TV this week - YEA! - so now we're on the hunt for a new leather couch and chair. That is, unless of course, one of you want to surprise us and buy them for us. OK, I'm not that dumb. I know you bitches are too cheap.

I'm Back

So, it was a long, yet fun, Christmas weekend. It took my bowels a while to get back to normal (due to lots of appetizers and alcoholic beverages). Tonight, Chris and I rented a couple of movies and I cooked dinner. (He wasn't feeling like a million bucks). We ended up renting Bewitched, and I'll tell you what... even though it got crappy reviews, Chris and I laughed our asses off. I'm not a big Will Farrel fan, nor a Nicole Kidman fan for that matter, but it was damn funny. That just goes to show what "professional critics" know. Get down with the people, man! Or else, get down, get down.....get down, get down...

Chrismas 2005

We had a fantastic Christmas in both Cleveland and Cincinnati this year. Here are some pictures of our weekend for you all to relish. There's not much else to say, other than that a good time was had by all. FYI, Chris got me an Ipod Nano! We got a Roomba and Chris got the complete collection of The New Yorker on DVD. This Christmas was not a fizzle, it was an AL SHIZZLE!

We hope to drink with you all...I mean see you all soon. Merry, Merry everyone.

Last Post for a While

Tomorrow, we'll be leaving for Cleveland and staying there until Christmas morning. We'll then drive back to the 'nati and go straight to my sister's place to celebrate Christmas with my family. So, might I suggest going to past postings and entertain your craving for some of my brilliant writings. Word, boyyeeeeeee.

One last question: Milk, milk, lemonade, 'round the corner fudge is made?

Christmas Shopping is DONE

Finally, I am done Christmas shopping. I've only had one thing to get for about 3 days now, which was an ornament for Chris. We decided a couple of years ago to just get each other one nice gift and an ornament. Awww, how fucking cheesy. Regardless, we like it and it adds personality to our Christmas tree. Well, today at lunch, I got him one and I'm officially finished shopping for Christmas. Thank God, because I can't stand going near malls during the holidays. Per one of my earlier posts, I highly recommend shopping online. It's a frustration-saver and it leaves more time for jerking off at home.

A Fucking Riot

We just watched Kathy Griffin: Allegedly. She makes me fall out with laughter. I love how she shreads everyone - I mean everyone. It was on Bravo, so it was edited for the bad language, but they left in the word "clit" in when she was talking about how the Iraqis cut their daughters' clits off. I couldn't believe they kept THAT word in! Anyway, check it out if you can - it's pure entertainment. And she loves her gays.

I Need a 12 Step Program or Intervention

I've realized I have a serious problem. I've become addicted to something and it's consuming too much of my time. Today, I played Texas Hold 'Em for 3 hours. That's sick. It's that handheld game I got off of WOOT last week. I finish one game and think to myself, "Oh, one more game won't take too long." Three plus hours later, I won twice in a row. Are there any other people out there facing this same addiction? Actually, I DO know of one other person who is addicted. I won't reveal that it is Laura Wooley, because I wouldn't want to embarrass her or anything. I welcome anyone to start a support group for this problem. At our meetings, maybe we can talk about it over a game of cards or something.

I Feel Like I Hit the Jackpot

I got 4 packages in the mail today! That's a record for me - granted, two of them were Christmas presents that I ordered, but it was fun opening all the packages. The two that were not gifts were: 1.) My Holiday gift from P&G (which was kick-ass; tons of P&G products) and 2.) the Texas Hold 'em handheld game that I ordered off of Woot. I'm pissed though because it takes three AAA batteries and we don't have any. We have a fuck-load of AA batteries, but, alas, none of the kind I need. All in all, my advice for the day is: If you like getting packages in the mail, order online. Not only does it save you from going to hell (the mall), but it brings those little bundles of joy that receiving a package in the mail brings. With that said, I'm granting you permission to buy me something and having it shipped straight to Stanford Drive.

Another Sort of Poll

I'm not going to do the formal poll like I did a few posts back, so just respond on the comments section. Here's the question: What are your immediate neighbors' names....on the left of you and on the right of you. Ours are - On the right: Katie and Pez On the left - Marlene and her son Steve. Ante up.

Who Can Beat This?

I was just thinking about my new job and that led to thinking about past jobs. I've been out of college for 10 years now and, in that time, I've had a total of 6 jobs (with 6 different companies). And here they are in chronological order:

1. Cincinnati Bell Telephone - Marketing
2. Marketsource Corporation - Marketing
3. Hasbro Toy Group - Marketing
4. Pet Life Foods, Inc. - Marketing
5. Sare Lee Foods - Marketing
6. Procter & Gamble - Marketing

I guess it's true what people in the business world say about marketing people jumping from job to job all the time. On the other hand, if you ask my friends, they'd say I run companies either out of business or out of Cincinnati. Well, pussies, you're all wrong. It's the Gen-X slacker in me that has gotten me where I've been. I give this Procter gig a year.

I take that back, they're paying me too much to leave that soon. (Unless they can my ass).

Just Wanted to Say

I love my baby. He's my one and only.

Stay Away Tonight

I think because my body is fighting this cold, it's having ill-effects on my innurds. In two words: I STANK! My gas is running ME out of the room. I'm talking rotten eggs, sulphur and limburger cheese wrapped into one. Lucky Chris. HA-HA!

WOOT

There is this website called WOOT that I came upon and it's pretty fucking cool. Everyday, they only put one item up for sale and there is a limited quantity. Ergo, first come, first serve. The best part about it is that they sell some pretty nice stuff at deeply-throated discounts. Check it out, I just bought something on there yesterday. And no, it wasn't the gi-normous TV that's on there today.

I'm Getting Sick

This afternoon at work, I started feeling the beginnings of illness coming on. You know that feeling when you start feeling very physically tired and get that "out of it" feeling? Well, it began today. I'm feeling a little worse since I've gotten home. I did eat some chicken noodle soup and have been drinking o.j., but I have a feeling tomorrow's going to be worse. I'm going to take a shot of Nyquil and call it a night. I can deal, as long as I don't get a sore throat. That's what really sucks.

Once Again

My hand still smells like lube.

I'm Ahead of the Game

Today I got very close to being done with my Christmas shopping. Yea for me! Now, there are only two people left I have to buy for, plus an ornament to give to Chris. Usually, I am shopping the weekend or days before Christmas and I'm always stressed out because I have no idea what to get people. I guess people CAN change. Internet shopping was a brilliant invention too - I bought 3 of the gifts online. Hopefully I will get the last two things this week and be done with it. Then I can concentrate on buying stuff for myself.

Good Times, Good Friends

Tonight was so much fun, seeing all of my college comrades. People were in from all over (relatively); Chicago, Toledo, Cleveland, perhaps more. The kick-ass part of it all is that it's been 10 years since we graduated college and we're all still getting together. That's some tight friendships. The disturbing part of it all is that we all still act the same around each other...in drinking situations...like 12 year olds. Say "fart" and we all laugh; girls and boys. That must be why we all stick so close together. Unless it's an SBD.

My Wardrobe Sucks

I have nothing to wear. Everything is old and/or out of date. I need shopping help, please. I've been sitting here, trying to figure out what I'm going to wear tonight to Suzanne's Christmas party and I have nothing. I would go naked, but it's too damn cold out. Oh, I know, I'll go naked, wearing a smile.

Birthdays are Fun

I'm glad I got to celebrate Momma's birthday along with Jason, Chris and Douggie. It's a cryin' shame that we all got a bit too intoxicated to make a real night of it. Although, I think the waiter had a little thing for Momma, even though he was a "straight" guy. Happy Birthday, Sister, even though this is coming several days early!

Classy, huh?

I was looking at old pictures and came across this one. It's from my friend Suzanne's christmas party a year or two ago. Notice the beer spilling out of my mouth. The mark of a true gentleman.

Ripped Off

We were supposed to get snow starting at 4 today through the morning tomorrow. Well, ONCE AGAIN, the weathermen were wrong. We got about 4 inches or so and then it started turning to rain. FUCKERS! It's now 35 degrees out and has stopped doing anything. The radar shows a bit more coming, but I'm sure that by the time it gets here, it will be more rain. And I was planning on a snow day tomorrow. I HATE the Ohio Valley - we always get ripped off! Why can't we just get dumped on? (And I'm not meaning a hot carl).

Where Has JW Been?

I haven't gotten many smart-ass comments lately. Am I losing my touch?

The Networks Lie

Last week, we watched Lost and they showed the "scenes" for next week. Well, after having several botched attempts to correctly record shows on TIVO in the past, Chris and I figured out that you have to put something on a season pass to undoubtedly record a show every week. When we got home tonight, fucking Lost wasn't recorded. Turns out, stupid jerkoffs didn't show a new episode of Lost tonight. It was a re-run. After reviewing our recording preferences on TIVO, we figured out that the default setting (on ours, at least) was to record only new shows. This cleared up some of the confusion as far as why some shows would record and others wouldn't. I was about to bitch up a storm to DirecTv/TIVO about the miss and hit we've experienced. Regardless, buttfuck ABC should at least advertise that it will be two weeks (or however much time) until the next new episode airs. I even ended up calling Momma to verify whether it was a new episode tonight or not. Note to ABC: Get in touch with your viewers. It just might give you some credibility.

I'm, Like, Almost Celebrity

Chris and I met my college friend Noah out tonight downtown for some drinks since he is in town for work. Chris Adrien and My Brian happened to be at Union Station getting dinner (great minds think alike), so we hung out with them until Noah was done with his work stuff. So, we picked him up and ended up going to McFadden's, an Irish bar/restaurant. When we got there, we all heard a raucous in the back room of the place. Not ever having been there before, I was searching for the bathroom. I didn't see one up front, so I wandered into the back where all the commotion was coming from. At first, it looked like a birthday party - there were balloons hanging at the door entrance and there was a long table inhabited by tons of people. At the same time, there was a projection TV showing some sort of show they were all going nuts-o over. So, after finding the bathroom and taking a leak, I went back up front to Chris and Noah. Meanwhile, Chris, the observant one of the group, notices that The Amazing Race (family edition) is showing and commented that one of the families participating was from Cincinnati. He deduced that this might be a group of friends and family members or some sick cultish group of followers watching the episode there. Well, it turns out that Chris was right. After a while, we hear some dude annoucing over the p.a. that he wanted to thank his friends & family, and that they'd be in New York next week since they made it to the final three. And, "please, watch in support", but didn't give any other details. Damn those network-contract-nazi-whores making participants sign confidentiality agreements. Anyway, we had a very, very, very slight brush with psuedo-stardom tonight and I thought it was better to fill you in on that instead of my stool consistency. You never know what lurks around the corner...I just might meet Marsha Brady in person.

Noah, Part The Waters

Noah, are you in town this week? This is one of my best friends from college. He is supposed to be in town for work, coming in from the booming metropolis of Cleveland. Noah, Chris and I really would like to get together with you if you ended up making it down. Give us a cwall, we can do cuoffee. Or beer. Except on Wednesday night. I am required by work to drink that night at Jillians. Stephanie is hoping to see you. Steph! Steph! Steph!

Today Was Interesting

I'm in "ABM College" for work this week. It stands for Assistant Brand Manager and it's a training that P&G makes all new-hires in marketing go to. Today was our first day of this week-long program. Part of the day included an assignment of going to a consumer's house and having a one-on-one focus group with them. I won't get into the details, or else I'd have to kill you, (or be fired), but the experience was quite crazy. This particular woman lived in Lockland - a not-so-nice area of town. Frankly, it looked like the projects. It turned out that this was a very nice 53 year old woman who we had to interview. First of all, I am not one to be very comfortable going into a strange person's house. Secondly, the fact that it was in the semi-hood didn't help either. Regardless, I went there with an open mind. Well, I went there with another ABM college attendee and we did our job. The fucked up part about the whole experience was that her 31 year old live-in son hung out in the next room the whole time and was basically evesdropping the whole time. I'm talking OBVIOUSLY evesdropping. The kicker was when two of his wt buddies showed up at the door with some greasy take out lunch. Her words were, "you two get in the kitchen there and hush." I can't say that it was ideal in that she proabably didn't truly answer our questions with the wt in the next room. Anyway, it was definitely an awkward experience to say the least. Looking back on it though, it was kind of fun/funny. At least I can say I've been to Lockland once and I know for a fact I'll NEVER feel the need to visit there again. Sorry Kevin.

Adonis Rocks!

We went to the new Adonis nightclub last night, and it is pretty fucking cool. First of all, it's HUGE. There are several different areas in the place with different themes. For example, there is a lounge-type area when you first walk in, right in front of a big fireplace. As you walk further down, there is a big open area in front of a bar, along with some chairs and such. Keep walking further, and there is a room on the left with a couple of pool tables (I coined it the dyke room). Past that is the dance floor. Wow. It is certainly a dance floor. There are to platforms on either side of the floor where all the twinks and meth-addicts can dance, and an L-shaped bar on the one side of the room. The sound system. The sound system kicks ass! I love when you can actually feel the bass when a song is thumping. I stood back there for quite a while (while trying to get rid of the hiccups). Walk through the dance floor through another door and you're in a piano bar first, then into a huge performance room. Aka, the drag queen room. I was delighted to see Tony Cody (aka Penny Tration) preforming there last night. Of course, he came up during one of his performances and had fun with us. The only part that kind of sucked is that there's no smoking inside. They did have a porch area in back where you could smoke, surrounded in a wind-breaker plastic covering. That helped, along with the heat lamp thing they had going. Summer time should be interesting, since there is a pool in back next to that patio. It was funny because they already had a sign posted by the doors going inside that said shirts required. Ha, yeah right. All in all, the place is kick-ass. The only down side is that it's a bit of a drive compared to the downtown clubs. Final verdict: A winner. I'll be there many more times in the future. Kudos to the new owners.

TLC is Great

I really like some of the shows that are on TLC. I'm watching Flip This House right now and it's a really cool show. Recently, I've gotten into the home improvement/renovation/restoration shows and I'm always amazed at the work some people accomplish. The best are the ones where the place is a total dump and they turn it into some kick-ass living space. It also gives me some ideas about what we could do with our kitchen, once we get around to redoing it. I think I want to bust a wall out, just because I can.

Give Me a Break

See two posts ago? It's happened again, except this time it's been all night. How fun.

Results of the Survey

Thanks to the 10 people that participated. Here are the results in case you're curious to see the breakdown. I was kind of surprised by some of the responses. Things that make you go h'mm....

I Don't Get It

Why is it that your husband/wife/significant other retreats at home when you just want to hang out and talk about your day? Tonight, among others, my signifcant other spent half the night in front of the computer instead of spending it with me. I will admit, I can't compete with the internet, as I'm not as interesting. Don't get me wrong...once I flipped on the TIVO, he ripped himself away. Sorry to bitch, but it seems like it's been a more frequent occurence lately. We have this weird relationship where we don't talk. So........that's all. Talk to y'all tomorrow.

Haircut Time

I just gave myself a haircut - it was way overdue. Here are some before and after pictures - and to prove that there REALLY IS a difference, I've included proof. Number 1: Before. Number 2: After. Number 3: Proof. And, NO, I'm not going bald, it's just the way the pictures came out. I'll have hair until the day I die, jealousnesses.

I Hate So Many Things Right Now

Why the fuck does Windows XP not work with so many other programs? I use Firefox for my main browser and half the time it seems to not respond. It must be that most programs are "best optimized if using Internet Explorer." I absolutely despise anything that Bill Gates and his company brings to market. Everything is always suseptible to viruses, the shit always seems to freeze, and last, but not least, it's virus-laden. At the same time, I'm not a big fan of Macs, so it seems that I'm pretty much fucked. I can't wait for the day that that there's not a Windows or an Iproduct on the market. Granted, there will always be hackers, but, c'mon people, start up something new. Nevermind, I'm just a bitter and jaded Gen-X'er.

Look, I Made a Survey...

Check this little survey/poll out that I made using SurveyMonkey. This is a really cool little tool! By the way, all responses are anonymous, so don't worry. No one will know your answers. But, TAKE IT!

More Yuletide Activities

Yesterday, I put up the Christmas tree and strung up the lights. But, after a little while, the fucking top part of the tree went out. So, I gave up last night. Tonight after work, I was going to check the fuse in the plug, and as soon as I tried pulling the ends apart, the lights came back on. Joy. Once the lights were in check, Chris and I decorated the tree. Here it is...now I expect all of you to send me a present so that the bottom is all filled.

Move Over Thanksgiving, Make Way for Christmas

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's time for weeks of Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. In order to be in the spirit and overdose on this festive season, I hung the wreaths on the outside of the house and started putting up decorations inside. I just finished putting the tree up, which is always a total pain in the ass. The worst part is fluffing the branches back out after being smashed in a box for a year. That takes the longest time regarding the tree. Now, I have to put on the lights and ornaments. I think I'm going to require Chris's help for that. I've posted a couple of pics of the outside of the house with the wreaths and candles in the windows. We bought lights for the yard to shine on the front of the house, but, considering it's raining outside, I think I'll wait to do that. Feliz navidad, bitches, hos and hoochies of the world.

I'm Exhausted

Last night, we once again had a Texas Hold 'Em family tournament. Chris won the pot, which is fine, as long as John Wooley and Big John Anderson didn't win twice. Of course, alcohol was involved last night and I stayed up pretty late. This morning, EARLY this morning, the girls (Chris's neices) got up and so did their puppy Bear. So, at around 8:00 this morning, there was screaming, barking, and stomping. Ugh. I ended up rolling out of bed at 10:00, but I pretty much laid in bed for an hour before doing so. Then we had to drive to Columbus for a brunch at Chris's cousin's house. We had mimosas and wine while there, ate, and headed back home. Needless to say, it has been a long day so far. Now I'm ready for some sex and then a nap. If anyone's going out tonight, we're up for it. I think I need some gay interaction tonight, as I've been in gay detox for the past few days. Just give me a call, gurls, and I'll meet you at the cha-cha.

Good Call on my Part

I suggested we go to Jillian's for dinner at the Hibatchi Grill and then some games afterwards. Well, it turned out to be a big hit. The girls had a good time, and so did Mira & Megan. Regardless, I didn't know how Chris's family would enjoy it. From minute two, they loved it. We did have a good server - he was crazy and fun and quite interactive. The best part of the night was when the server challenged three of us to race around the outside of the restaurant, flapping our arms like chickens to get back before the other two...kind of like musical chairs. And who was the biggest ass of them all, taking it bait, line and sinker? Yours truly. I got over it pretty quickly. This guy was a true hoot - he had us all entertained pretty much the whole time we were there. And the food was quite tasty. Too bad we all wussed out on doing saki bombs. I may have performed better on Texas Hold 'Em when we got home later. (Although I did come in second, bitches).

The Faces of Stanford Drive

Here they are. The Andersons, Wooleys and Looses. Such an attractive bunch.

Happy T-Day Everyone

I'm bombed. Hope you had a good one too.....................................

I'm Taking a Poll

I had a discussion the other day with some friends about how many guys shave their balls. I think it's more than most people think. I even know several straight guys that shave them. I would be one that participates in this ritual as well. So, I must settle this little debate... Do you shave your balls - yes or no. Feel free to answer in the comments section at the end of this blog.

TGIW

I'm so glad tomorrow is Wednesday, considering it's really my Friday. I'm off work Thanksgiving and the real Friday of this week. I busted ass cleaning tonight for the in-laws that are coming in town tomorrow. Chris ended up taking the day off to take care of a few things I didn't get to and also to start preparing all the food for the big day. Alls I knows is that I'm wearin' me some jeans to work tomorra. I'm ready for another alcoholiday - it's been a whole two months since my last one. Well, at least that's what I tell people.

There's Nothing Wrong with Skyline

I have met so many out-of-towners who are appalled at the idea of Skyline Chili. The shit is GOOD. They think that the idea of chili over spaghetti noodles is gross. And they also hear that the chili has cinnamon/brown sugar added to it. Big deal. Don't knock it 'till you try it. Yes, it's not your traditional chunky chili, but the stuff rocks. Give me Skyline any day over Taco Hell or White Castles (sliders) to satisfy a drunk craving. In fact, I'm getting some tonight.

Sex is Good

'nuff said.

Cool!

I just turned on the DirecTv satellite music channel to play while I'm in the shower and the channels were all different. 813 used to be the dance channel, but it was now suddenly country music. After a quick investigation, I realized that DirecTv brought on XM radio! Sweet!!! So, now I can listed to my BPM (channel 81 on XM) on my stereo at home. Wheeeeee! Now I won't have to ever be away from Alan Freed.

Damn, I'm Beat

It's been a whirlwind of a Friday. The work we did in Chicago was REALLY GOOD. I learned a lot about the Noxema brand. One of the biggest learnings was that no one knows that Noxema has more products available than the good old "jar" we all grew up on. Well, people, there's lots. Beyond work stuff (which I'd have to kill you if I told you), I ended up hitting Nordstrom's to buy a new coat and pair of gloves. I'm a stylin' bitch now. It only cost me a couple of limbs, but, that's OK, they weren't very important. I can still walk pretty well with a few missing toes. OK, I'm out because in Karen Walker's terms..."I'm gonna go poop."

Off To Chicago

I have to go to Chi-Town for work tomorrow to attend some focus groups on Noxema. Yeah, baby. I'm flying out tonight though so that I don't have to catch an early morning flight tomorrow. Oh, and my hotel is just off the magnificent mile. What does that mean? Shopping. I'm not a typical gay man who likes to shop. In fact, I'm pretty much the opposite. But, I feel that it's my duty to take advantage of the situation since I'll be right there. Plus, I need a new winter coat and gloves; they're both about 4 years old. I have an image to conform to at P&G, yo.

Weathermen Suck

We are/were supposed to get some very heavy rain/severe weather tonight. So far, nothing. I'm on the National Weather Service site and the radar is showing rain, but nothing remotely severe. That pisses me off! I love severe weather and we always seem to get ripped off. The weathermen get everyone's hopes up and break into shows constantly to give the "severe weather update." But, it never fails, the weather pussies out or they just get it all wrong to begin with. Fuck, if I could knew that I could get a job where I'm always wrong and still get paid, I would have signed up LONG ago. Stupid idiot meteorologists.

S.A.D.

I think I have S.A.D. For those of you who don't know what it is, it stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. This means that you get depressed when the weather gets cold and dreary, with less sunlight during the days. A.K.A. winter. Here are some symptoms:

• Regularly occurring symptoms of depression (excessive eating and sleeping, weight gain) during the fall or winter months. OK, YES, THIS WOULD APPLY
  
• Full remission from depression occur in the spring and summer months. YES
  
• Seasonal episodes substantially outnumber nonseasonal depression episodes. WHAT?
  
• A craving for sugary and/or starchy foods. YES

Or it also could just be that it's a Monday and I have a full week of work ahead of me. On the other hand, it's supposed to snow flurry here on Wednesday morning...that can't help. Or maybe I'm just bored. Yep, that's it.

Gatlinburg 2005

What can I say. The annual trip to GB was once again a blast. The weekend went way too fast though, plus it didn't help that most of us slept until 1:00 on Saturday. Here are pictures of the event, and here is a quick video of normal behavior of one Chris Peters. There will also be some on Chris's website - just click on the Gatlinburg link next to the picture. So, I sit here on Sunday night with SND's (Sunday Night Depression), drinking a beer. It's the only way I'll be able to fall asleep tonight after staying up late 3 nights in a row. Training for work should be fun tomorrow. Oh well. One last thought: Don't ride a mechanical bull in just shorts; unless you want two cherries on the inside of your thighs and pain for a couple of days. The End.

Last Post for the Weekend

We are headed out of town for the weekend - around 12 or so tomorrow. So, all you Cincymatt fans will have to hold off until Sunday to get another update. That will consist of pictures of sheer drunkeness, debauchery, and stupidity. In the meantime, why don't you check out this site for some entertainment. I know it's wrong, but I also know that you love it. So, don't be liars, just admit that you're as fucked up as me.

Two Days and Counting

That is until we head down to Gatlinburg - the Myrtle Beach in the mountains. Cheesiness, touristy, and white trash all bundled up into one. Well, at least on "the strip." We'll be staying up in a 14 person chalet up in the mountains. It's a Cincinnati-meets-Charlotte-meets-Madison gathering. And as always, a drunkfest. Here's the place we'll be staying at; not the prettiest of the chalets we've stayed in, but it has all the amenities to keep us entertained. Plus, there's PLENTY of room for the 50 cases of beer we'll be consuming. Expect some drunk dialing from us this weekend, bitches.

Funny Fucking Videos!

Just not right

Water Sports

Where are all the chicks?

Lady Sitters

Stern

iPod

Vera di Milo

My Bush is Burning

I was so excited to return from Cleveland to see that my bush is starting to burn. No, I'm not a cherry chicken, I'm talking about the burning bush I planted a couple of months ago. It's pretty small still, and I didn't think it would turn red this fall - it's common for them not to turn for the first couple of years. But, it's slowly starting to turn red....kind of like my alcoholic red face.

My Niece is a Trip

Here's a recent picture of her when I gave her a Provincetown T-shirt. She wanted to put in on immediately and show it off to everyone. She's a cutie. She also wears the pants in the family when it comes to her vs. her brother.

Lame-o's

I'm in Cleveland this weekend for Mira's 4th birthday. It's Saturday night and it is now 12:45. I've been awake by myself for about an hour or so. Prior to that, John and Laura were both up, but John had to be a woman and go to bed. (I had to mention that since he won the Texas Hold 'em game last night). Anyway, I'm enjoying John and Laura's new dog Bear....although Hannah may not have the same mindset. In about 5 minutes, Bear will be bigger than Hannah - apparently that's how fast Newfoundlands grow. I'll be sure to post a picture of Bear after I ask John/Laura to email me one. He is a total cutie....that likes to sleep a lot....like me.

Peeing at Night is Dangerous

Last night, I got up in the middle of the night to take a piss. In usual fashion when I'm out of it, I'll hold myself up by putting a hand on the wall in front of me while I relieve myself. Last night, however, in my sleepy fog, I misjudged where my hand was supposed to support my body. Instead, I put my hand on a picture, which proceeded to fall down. In the process, the corner of the picture scratched my forehead and then fell to the floor. The glass cover broke. So, not wanting to deal with it at 4:00 a.m., I just set it on the floor up against the wall. Now I have to sweep up glass and re-hang the picture. I also need a tetanus shot. Well, not really. Moral of the story: If you have to pee at night, just go in your pants.

I'm All Urban Now, Yo.

I started my official first real day of work today at P&G. The building I work in is located at 5th and Sycamore - in pretty much the heart of downtown. It so good to be back working downtown after about 5 years of being in the 'burbs. It's too bad that I started after they began construction on Fountain Square....that's some good people watchin'. Regardless, I love the fact that I can walk down the street in pretty much any direction to get food, run errands, and meet up with friends. If anyone's up for meeting at Atlanta Bread or Burrito Joe's, let me know. Like Texas Hold 'Em, I'm all in.

I've Been a Slacker

I know it's been a few days since I've blogged, but I attribute it to laziness. Now that I'm on a regular schedule again (employment, that is), I'll be better about updating this puppy. Now - off to work. I'll let you know how it feels when they implant the microchip into my neck today.

Stupid Me

As I was coming home last night, I think the fact that there was a fire in a house not far from where I live had me a bit distracted. When I was pulling into my garage, I scraped the front end of my car on the corner of the garage. GOD DAMMIT! Here are a couple of pics to show you what happened. I tried to wash it off, but most of it is scraped paint. After all the small issues like this one, I just might have to get the new Lexus IS. And, NO, I'm not doing it on purpose.

The End of my Vaction is Here

Sadness. I just got an email regarding my "orientation day" for the start of work. It will be on Monday, October 31. That would be this coming Monday. Of all days, it would have be Halloween. Oh well, boo hoo squish squish, right? That's OK, it will be the start of double income for me. I guess I better start weening off the boozing that I've been doing on my alcoholiday. Plus, I'll have to start going to bed at a reasonable hour. But, it will all be worth it when I'm bringing home tons of cash. Word, boyeeeeeeeee.

Continuation of I Love the 80's - 1983

1. Jaws III - 3D
2. Star Search
3. Munchichis
4. Herbie Hancock - Rockit
5. Mr. Mom the movie
6. Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
7. Return of the Jedi
8. St. Elsewhere
9. The Truly Tasteless Jokes books
10. Kiss with no makeup
11. Jheri Curls - Soul Glow
12. Jesse Jackson - 1984 Election
13. Press Your Luck - No WHAMMIES!
14. Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
15. Reading Rainbow
16. Mr. Wizard's World
17. Quiet Riot - Come on Feel the Noize
18. Terms of Endearment

A List from I Love 1982

1. CATS the play
2. TRON the movie
3. VCRs - VHS or Beta??
4. Roseanna by Toto
5. BMX bikes to do tricks
6. Tootsie the movie
7. Bow Wow Wow - I Want Candy
8. Valley Girls at the mall
9. Benneton, Guess, Spensers, Tiffany performing at the mall
10. Headbands, mesh tops
11. $25,00 Pyramid
12. The Epcot Center opened
13. "Gag me with a spoon"
14. Victor/Victoria
15. Cyanide in Tylenol capsules
16. Rambo: First Blood
17. Tommy Tutone - 867-5309

Oh yeah, I was 8/9 years old then. I'm old, but I still look young. Sorry 'bout your luck.

Good Times

I'm currently watching I love the '80s on VH1. Too fucking funny! It's always fun to watch what we grew up on. Everything was SO CHEESY...although we'll probably think the same when we're watching I Love the 2000's on VH1 in 20 years. Just a quick snipet of what was shown on this show: Penny Racers, Fed Ex's fast talker, the first portable computer (that was the size of a suitcase), the Erasermate II (the eraseable pen), and Gimme a Break with Nell Carter. Ahh, good times. Next up is I love 1982. I'll fill you in on that in another post. TOTALLY AWESOME.

Drama

All I have to say is that there is major gay drama going on with my friends. Not just a couple, but a couple of couples. The hardest part for me is to be bipartisan. I've talked to three of the four involved in one day and I feel like I've not contributed one thing. If anything, I hope that they are communicating with each other on an equal level. I have a feeling that they aren't, per the phone calls. Regardless, they all mean a lot to me and I hope that they can resolve things. If not, the near future will be a sad time.

What a Shitty Day

It's nasty, cold and rainy out today. Along with that, the Bengals are losing and there is nothing else on TV to watch. And I can't start boozing until 6:00 (a personal rule). I'm just hoping Chris takes a break in a few minutes to have sex. That will pass some time and will give me someone, I mean something, to do. Hannah is being needy today and I'm not in the mood for it. We need to get another fucking dog stat.

Tonight's Agenda

It involves bowling, beer and buddies. And maybe going out later on as well. So, if you're in for some PBA-style bowling, let me know and we'll meet you at Stones Lanes, bitches.

The New Union Station is Cool

The longtime mainstay of gay restauranteering in Cincinnati is now over. Carol's on Main got bought out by Union Station (out of Columbus, I believe). I went there for happy hour - which serves $1 bottles of beer from 4-8 - and really, really enjoyed it. As I mentioned to a couple of friends, it is such a refreshing change from the numerous "changes" Carol's went through. Finally, there is a real menu, not just adding or subtracting a couple of items like Carol's would do. Also, they changed the seating arrangement to all high-top tables and nixed the tired old boothes that were in there. In typical Union Station fashion, they put video screens up everywhere - very nice to not have to strain your neck to watch a video or whatever it is they might be playing. Also, they've added NTN trivia. Chris and I are both big fans of the trivia. In fact, I won a $5 drink certificate for coming in first place in trivia tonight. Sweet! They do that all throughout happy hour. All in all, I think the owners did a fantastic job with the little bit of space they had to work with. The upstairs wasn't opened tonight, but I'm dying to see how they'll treat the space. Hmm, maybe an erotic dance bar with naked go-go boys? Not likely with Simon Leis still employed.

I Know it's Been a While...

But, John & Laura Wooley rule. By the way, how's the new puppy treating you? Are you fa-shittzled? I mean fa-shizzled?

Oh Momma

My friend Momma is going to somewhere in Tennessee this weekend with his boy to see Sordid Lives live. I'm jealous; what a great movie. I think that some of my favorite movies are the Indie movies that make it big (or at least into the mainstream). Sordid Lives is fucking hilarious. As the movie title suggests, it's "A Black Comedy About White Trash." The inital attraction among the gay community was that the story was being told via a gay guy. However, the real fun comes with the rest of his family. His "down home" family. It's one of those films that causes people at parties to start the quote game. Similar to the Caddyshacks and Fletches of back in the day. By the way, I know that was a sentence fragment, but I don't give a fuck. Regardless, I'm jealous of Momma and his boy for seeing a recent all-time classic in the flesh. All I want is a damn phone call from Brotherboy on my voicemail so that I can share it with friends. (Like NN1 did).

I Love Costco

It's my favorite club store to go to for all sorts of things. Today, I went and got gas ($0.10 cheaper than every other place), bought toiletries, paper towels, and more boxers. The best part is that you get so much for the price compared to traditional grocery stores. On the opposite side of the coin, Costco can also get me into trouble. They have so many different things there that are tempting, and I always end up buying more than I originally intended. For example, we don't need a vat of dry roasted peanuts, but I walked out of there with one. We also don't need a jug of wine, but it's such a deal, I can't pass it up. Needless to say, I can overlook this one downfall. I might be in more trouble if we lived closer to one. It's a good thing that going to Costco is a "special trip" or else I might be in the poor house. And I'd have a housefull of STUFF in bulk.

Our Newest Purchase

Chris and I have been wanting a firepit for the longest time, but hadn't been really pressed to go out and get one. Well, with the season for them quickly approaching, we went out and bought one. Here's a picture of it assembled - we like the fact that it has screening all the way around and also has a chimney to help keep the smoke from blowing all over. We looked high and low and got this one at Lowes. Although, the stupid fucks at Lowes did not know how to use their computer systems properly. After being told that two different stores had some, it turns out that they really didn't. I guess the third time is a charm, because we got one at a third location. I digress. What this ultimately means is that we're due for a party in the near future. Keep your eye out for an Evite (if you're lucky).

My Dog is a Fucking Bitch

Literally and figuratively. The little shithead will run off the porch if she sees other dogs or people coming down the street. It doesn't happen all the time, but if she does, once she starts she won't stop. If and when we get another dog, we're DEFINITELY getting an invisible fence put in. Otherwise, I just might kill the little whore.

I Rule

Last night, Chris, Laura Wooley, John Wooley and I played Texas Hold 'em. I won. I rock.

As a Celebation...

I've had a couple of adult beverages. I figure that these nights are numbered, so why not enjoy them while they exist? Cheers, mates!


SIDEBAR: I'm done talking about my employment status... I know it's boring as shit, but that's all I've had to talk about lately. Loos - Out.

The Interview Today

I just got back from my third interview at P&G. It went pretty well, I guess. I interviewed with three people at the same time and they asked me all sorts of questions about leadership and times that I've displayed leadership. After the questions, I met two assistant brand managers and went to lunch with them. I got to ask them some of the nitty gritty questions about daily life and their impressions of the overall company. Everyone seemed really nice (although I'm sure they are to any interviewee). Well, as I was in my car paying at the parking garage, my phone started to ring. But, I couldn't get it out of my pocket in time. Whoever it was left me a message. It turned out to be this guy Jeff that was one of the interviewers. By getting a phone call so quickly, I assumed it was one of those, "we really appreciate you interviewing, but unfortunately there wasn't a fit for this position." Instead it went, "we really appreciate you interviewing and would like to extend you an offer." NO FUCKING WAY! I can't believe it, I did it! I'll be working for the ultimate man! Now if I can get this company to leave Cincinnati like my past three employers, that will be a noteworthy feat. Thanks to everyone who was rooting for me.

One Last Thing

Tomorrow's my third interview with P&G. Wish me luck, bitches. I mean wish me luck, wonderful people of the world.

Why are Oreos so Fucking Good?

I bought a pack of them, which I never do, but have torn through about half the pack in three nights. It's one of those foods that I rarely buy - and thank God because I'd be a house - that I forget taste so good. Another cookie, since I'm on the subject, are Nutter Butters. They rule, aight? Another fucking yummy food are the Hussman's jalepeno kettle chips. Again, I could eat the whole bag in one sitting. At the same time, my mouth would be on fire, but I am capable of doing it. One last vice of mine are Reece's Peanut Butter Cups. If I were stranded on a desert island, that would be what I'd want. An endless supply. And some insulin.

I am FUCKING Bored

That's all I have to say.

Here's Today's Project

I bought these record album frames almost a year ago and never got around to putting them up. So, today, I went to Everybody's Records and bought some to fill them. I have no idea what happened to either my or Chris's that we owned from when records were the thing to listen to. Anyway, I found some pretty cool ones and hung them above our couch in the living room today. I like the new look - it's definitely a conversation piece. It also ssssspices up the house. That's all I did today.

Thursday at Maryoke

Last night, Chris and I went to karaoke at Hamburger Mary's, otherwise known to the gay folk as Maryoke. The crowd was kind of light at first, but as in usual gay fashion, business picked up big time around 11:00. It was a fun crowd; the whole reason I wanted to go last night is because my friend Joe came in town from L.A. and haven't seen him in forever. It was a pretty fun crowd and the music didn't suck too bad. I even got propositioned for a 3-way. Ha! After telling this person, thanks, but no thanks, he kept complimenting me on my tattoo. Nice try, dude. Anyway, I ended up driving home because I thought Chris was looking a little too tipsy. I think my suggestion was a good one. He slurred a few times on the way home. My little drunk hubby, how cute.

I am so STOKED!

I just got a call back from Procter & Gamble and they want me to come back in for another interview and lunch! I can't believe that last dude I interviewed with recommended me. After all that anguish he put me through, well, I guess it doesn't matter. They want me back! Then again, who wouldn't. No snide comments please.

The Painting is Finished

I finally finished painting the stairway and upstairs hall. Thanks to Jim and Rob for letting me use their sweet fold-up scaffolding ladder. If it wasn't for that, there's no way I could have gotten up by the ceiling on the side of the steps. Now, I'm going to celebrate with some wings and beer at BW-3. It doesn't take much for me to celebrate stuff with beer. *burp*

So, My Interview Sucked

At least that was my impression. As a reminder, I had a face-to-face interview at P&G today and the guy interviewing me seemed pretty unimpressed with my answers. Also, I did all the talking. No feedback, no positive body language, and I only got to ask two questions after the interview. Not very encouraging. On my way home, Momma asked if I could take him to his car from the dealer. I said sure, as long as he stopped on the way home to get a beer with me. Well, that turned into about 5 beers. When I got home, Chris has been buried in his book since I got home. I guess I'm being punished, who knows. I must be a bad person, because that's the feeling I've been getting all day. Boo hoo on me, right?

Hmm, I Never Would Have Guessed

You know that song by Chuck Berry "My Ding-a-Ling?" I just googled it and this was the first result. Quote, "Even though he wrote many Rock classics, this novelty song is Berry's only #1 hit. This is about a young boy who discovers his penis. Berry was good at making sexual references that did not seem offensive." Really?????

Holy Shit

I just called Lexus to get a price on the 60,000 mile service would be for my car. They quoted me $625. Yikes. So then I called a place the my dad always goes to when he services his car and it's still up there at $475. The good thing about it (I guess) is that it includes all possible fluids. If any of them look ok, they'll deduct from the price. Even so, holy shitballs from hell.

As Promised

I finally went through with my mention earlier this month. I did it. I got a tat. Here are some pictures of it. The funny thing is, I originally wanted a tribal sun, but when I was looking for samples on the internet, I came across what was called a tribal spider and LOVED it. So, that's what I got. The experience was really great. Chris, Scott, Rob and I all went to two different places in Northside. We first went to Designs by Dana, but I didn't really see anything there that peaked my interest. Plus, they were all very busy at the time and it turns out that they were booked for the entire day. So, then we went to Skincraft and the tattoo artist was just finishing up with someone. No one else was waiting, so I decided to go for it. Jeremiah Ferguson was the guy who did it and was fantastic. He was very patient, described everything he was going to do before he did it and made sure that I was cool with proceeding. Not only that, but he was very patient and every once in a while he asked if I was doing OK. Being a tat virgin, I'm sure he expects that someone might start to feel sick, get nauseous, or even pass out. But, he took his time and kept "checking up" on me. The best part was that he was fucking hilarious! That definitely helped take my mind off the pricking. As far as the pain goes, I didn't know what to expect. Once he started, and pretty much throughout the process, it really wasn't bad. I would describe the pain as being pinched by two fingernails (like an older sister would do). There were only two points during the whole process that it actually bothered me, but it was over in a second. The aftercare is not bad at all either - I just have to put lotion on it twice a day for a couple of weeks. All in all, the experience was great and I highly recommend going to Jeremiah if you're going to get inked. He did a fantastic job in my opinion, but you can be the judge from the pictures. I can say I'm no longer a tattoo virgin. Hmm, maybe I need another. Regardless, my parents are going to shit when they find out.

Here is the Fruit of my Labor

The first picture shows what it looked like before painting. The other two are post-painting. As you can see, it was very plain and drab. I think the new look is much better. It would look much different in person, so to see the real difference, you'd have to be here in person. C'mon over and check it out.

Yea For Me

I just got a call this afternoon from Procter & Gamble and they want me to come in for a face-to-face interview next Tuesday! Keep your fingers crossed bitches, or else I won't be giving you any free Tide or Olay products.

OK, I Decided Blogger SUCKS

First of all, I tried uploading 3 pictures for a different discussion. I tried them individually as well. But, instead, the motherfucker kept giving me an error. Secondly, when I tried saving my post as a draft, it wouldn't save the pictures in the body. Anyone have any suggestions for a free webhosting site that won't be a fucking bitch like Blogger? I'm all ears.

I'm a Bachelor For a Couple of Days

So, does anyone want to go out while Chris is out of town? He gets back on Saturday, so I have a couple of days where I'll be bored out of my skull. I find that cabin fever sets in pretty easily when I'm at home all day. So, what do you say... lets go drinking!

I Was Productive Today

After I woke up at 11:00, I decided to go to Homo Depot AGAIN. I bought some paint for the hallways and stairway as well as some for the front porch floor. I started by doing the porch floor. It ended up taking me about 2.5 hours, but it was worth the effort. The floor looks great and very shiny. It's a light gray, just a little darker than the previous coat. So, we'll have all you bitches over for a porchmonkey party to check it out. Tomorrow starts the hallway painting...

I'm Going to Get One

I've finally decided that I am, in fact, going to get a real tattoo. I want one something like the picture here - kind of like a tribal sun. I want it just below my neck on my back, between my shoulder blades. Pretty money, yo?

I Love This Movie

I was just flipping through the satellite and came upon the movie Tommy boy. What a fucking hilarious flick! There are some all-time classic quotes throughout the movie. Here is one of my favorites. If you haven't seen it, you've been sheltered. If you don't own it, go buy it. It's in my top 5 movies of all time. Here's another favorite quote of mine. Too bad the fat bastard is dead now.

It's Official

My mom just purchased a 2006 Honda Accord. After looking at Toyota Camry's and Corolla's, she went with the Accord. They actually matched and then beat the Camry's pricing. So, congrats to Gail. She gets to pick it up on Monday. The picture here is the exact car, color and all, that she'll be getting. It's about time, I was kind of getting sick of the 1990 Camry she putzed around in.

It's Been a While

So, I thought I'd remind all y'all that JOHN WOOLEY RULES.

I'm Dumb

I spelled verdict wrong in my last post. I'm too lazy to fix it, so I'm writing a separate one. Nyeeeeh

Poor Gail Loos

My mom just called and told me that her car just died. Lucky for her, it happened to be in the driveway when it happened. Turns out that her 1990 Toyota Camry blew its transmission. My dad and she had to put the car in neutral to push it out of their strawberry patch to get it back in the driveway. That means it car-hunting time. Me loves going car shopping. So, I'm going with them to give them my expert advice on which cars they should consider. Knowing them, it will have to be Japanese and not very expensive. Mom has a couple of other requirements as well. My guess is they'll end up getting a Toyota Corolla, Toyota Camry or Honda Accord. It all depends on how much they'll decide to spend. I'm also going to make them take a look at the Scion Xb, even though asthetically, it's not my favorite. But, for what they want, it's in the price range and offers more space than the Corolla. Plus, it's cheaper. I'll let you know what the vertict is once they make a purchase. I know that you're dying to know.

What is Wrong With Drivers?

I know that I get road rage. Others know I get road rage. The simple fact of the matter is that people in fucking Ohio (and Kentucky) do NOT know how to drive. I think it should be mandatory that everyone in the forementioned states have to take a goddamn road test every 5 years. Let me remind any of you stupid retards what I'm referring to: THE HIGH SPEED LANE IS FOR PASSING, NOT PERMANENTLY PUTZING IN. There are even signs up all over the place that say "Slower Traffic Keep Right." No wonder why we get traffic jams, especially on I-75, it's because these assholes feel the need to go 60 in the high speed lane and not get over. You can even be riding their ass and they won't move. Another amazing thing: you can watch someone entering the highway and then IMMEDIATELY bust over to the high speed lane. It's like there's a magnet pulling them over as far left as possible. No, let's not test the waters in the slow lane or any of the middle lanes, let's go for the gusto and just go left. And, hmm, I don't really feel like speeding up, so I'll just sit here and go 60 with my finger up my ass. Oh yeah, the same drivers I'm talking about apparently don't know what a rear-view mirror is either. So, as I mentioned earlier, I DO have road rage at times and it's because of these uneducated, inconsiderate mongloids behind the wheel. Watch out blood-farts, I'll be cutting you off in the near future.

Correction

A week or so ago, I wrote a blog entitled Good Humor. It was all about Michael M's Dear Diary song. What I didn't mention is that you really should buy his CD Single - you can find it here and view the video here. I just ordered mine online and can't wait to receive it! Makes me want to do have a cocktail.

This is Wrong

My sister-in-not-so-legally-law's husband sent me this picture. As he put it, pictures can say a thousand words. Here are some of mine:

1. I'm 50 and I'm smugglin' the yo-yo
2. Roseanne Barr at the Emmy's
3. Elvis's enlargement gone bad

And some of John's:

1.One lump or two?
2. King cameltoe
3. Elvis and the twins have left the building

The list could go on and on....

What a Bender

This weekend has been a long drinking binge. Saturday, we went to Oktoberfest and had a blast, although we drank for about 12 hours. Then we had to get up today at 10:00 so that we'd be down there again at 11:30 to meet my family. I was feeling quite ill at first, but managed to suck down about 7 beers throughout the time we were there. Then I came home and crashed for 2 hours. I'm still feeling the effects of it, but probably won't be back to normal until tomorrow. Chris and I just went to Skyline to take in some grease, and it seems to be helping. Being an alcoholic is hard.

An Un-Perk of Being Unemployed

Since I'm here at home during the day playing Mr. Mom, I feel like I should put myself to good use. Well, I decided to clean the whole house today and came to the conclusion that clean sucks, especially in the massive house we live in. Dusting, swiffering, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms and windexing glass surfaces is not very fun when it takes 4 hours. Keep in mind, it's like cleaning a two-family house, since that was what our house was until it was converted into a one-family. If anything, it will be a nice surprise for Chris when hu gets home. Once I start my new job (making 6 figures), I'm hiring a fucking maid.

We Scored

We went to the Pottery Barn Outlet and found nothing. Total crap. On the way home, we decided to hit Meijer to pick up the media shelf that I saw earlier this week. While there, Chris found two different shelves that he liked to put in his office. All in all, we got 3 pieces of furniture for $308.00. Not bad (and we wouldn't buy anything cheesy). Y'all have to come check this shit out. We likey. Just like Tommy and his wingy.

We're Going Shopping

Chris and I are going to the Pottery Barn Outlet today after he gets off work. He wants to look at getting some bookcases and we both want to look at a media rack (if they have any) for all the receivers in our living room. Plus, I plan on checking out leather couches and chairs to replace the shitty ones we currently have. Anyone want to join?

Will the Real Oktoberfest, Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up

So, this weekend is the REAL Oktoberfest (aside from the one in Munchen, Germany). Sorry for all of you who can't attend. We'll drink your weight. If anything, I've had the practice lately to keep up my tolerance. Getränk, bitches! (Look it up).

I Don't Really Have Much to Say Today

There's nothing exciting to write about, or even dumb. I didn't do much either. I guess I'm feeling a little glum. I'll be sure to return to my normal postings tomorrow. Or maybe later tonight. Word.

Unemployment is Fun

I am really enjoying playing Mr. Dad at home. I get to sleep in late, zip around town to run errands, play with myself during the day, work on house projects and finish it off with some cocktails in the evening. And then do it all over again. I'm living the life that the girls from Wisteria Land do. I rock. Maybe I'll just quit my job search alltogether. Just kidding, Chris.

I Think I Might Be Addicted

To Celebrity Poker Showdown, that is. The current competitors are Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser), Donny Deutsch (not sure what he's been in/on), and Shannon Elizabeth (the whore from the Scary Movie movies). So far the whore is in first place, but Donny is catching up. Two people that have been eliminated are Kathy Griffin (LOVE HER) and Chevy Chase. I have never sat down to watch this show, but it's pretty good and they joke a lot too. The best part is to see which celebs are smart/stupid. UPDATE: Donny is out. Ha-ha!

Oktoberfest Mainstrasse

Last night, Chris and I went to Oktoberfest Mainstrasse in Covington, KY. It was a pretty good time, although we didn't run into anyone we knew down there. It was the usual crowd, mostly ugly and fat, but it was good people-watching nonetheless. I think we'll probably head down there again today since some of our friends are planning to go. It doesn't compare to the REAL Oktoberfest in Cincy. How could you compare one that has the world's largest chicken dance?

I'm Hung Over

Chris and I didn't feel like going out last night (well, out-out). So, instead we went to BW-3 and got some food/beers. Then we went to Hollywood Video and rented Kinsey. It turned out to be a good movie and there was a bonus in it with some male frontal nudity. Yum. Of course, during the movie, we had more beers. That ended around midnight and so we decided to watch Mystic River, another great flick. No male frontal in that one though. Beer consumption continued until 3:00 in the morning, when I finally decided I was drunk and had to go to bed. I slept until 11:00 and could have stayed in bed. Now I feel like shit. I need some medicine.

Drug Terminology

I am so out of the loop. I guess it's because my drug use has been very limited. Check this shit out.

Good Humor

You have to listen to this song: Dear Diary by Michael M (Control Freak Mix). You can get it off Limewire; I tried uploading it to stupid Fuse, but I think the file is too big. It's hilarious though, it reminds me of our friend Toby. Just listen to the words. Ha!

I Swear To God

I have been to Home Depot more times in the past week than I can count. I've been there for 8 bags of mulch, a sprinkler, edging to go around our tree, bulbs, a bird feeder (that they didn't have), a burning bush, and brackets to hold up a curtain rod. I should just have Sara Lee pay them directly instead of me. They haven't seen the last of me though - Chris is planning a list of chores to take care of when I'm playing Mr. Mom.

What is Morning Wood?

Here is the answer. Chris and I both had it this morning, and if he wasn't late getting to work, I would have done something about it. Guess I'll have to wait until later.

I Did the Unthinkable

I applied for a job at Procter & Gamble. They just called. They want me to come in for an interview. Wish me luck, bitches.

Cigarellos

I was at the UDF near my house tonight and I'm still fascinated at the number of people that buy Cigarellos. They are flavored "blunts" and seem to have quite the loyal following where we live (as well as where I used to live). I think we all know what the term "blunt" means, but are those people really lacing them with pot or is there some attraction to them because they're cheap? I am in the dark here, so if anyone can fill me in, please do so. All of the clientelle that buy them are either black or obviously lower-class whites. Hell, maybe I should try one - I might be a convert. I did grow up on the west side, after all.

My Baby's Back!

Yea, it's finally back. Thanks for not wrecking it, Momma.

We've Been (Kind of) Productive Today

Chris went out and bought two ceiling fans today and installed one of them on our sleeping porch. It's so nice to have a brighter light and some air movement. I ended up ripping out the ugly-ass bush that was by the corner of our driveway. Probably later this weekend, I'll go and buy a burning bush or something. And I'm not talking about Momma's pubes. Ha. We are so faggy-domestic, it makes me sick.

The New Mary's

Chris and I went to the newly-remodeled/expanded Hamburger Mary's last night. I was impressed. It went from campy/kitch to somewhat upscale and trendy. I was expecting just the same old Mary's look, but in a bigger space. The one thing that I might change if I were the owner would be to tone down some of the lighting around the bar, but that's minor. All in all, Nigel and Peter did a great job with the expansion. I guess I'll give them more money now, since I'll be there all the time.

Weird...

My hand still smells like lube.

The Fireworks Are Upon Us

It's once again time for the annual Cincinnati Riverfest event, where they put on a 35 minute fireworks show. Also known as the WEBN/Toyota fireworks, it is always on the Sunday before Labor Day to mark the end of summer. They really are quite spectacular, and it's quite an experience to be down on the river with the best view around. They are launched off of barges on the Ohio River and also off of the Suspension Bridge (or is it the Purple People Bridge?). Regardless, thousands of Cincinnatians make their way down or to someone's house that lives nearby with a good view. We are planning on attending the festivities somewhere; we're still not sure, as we've gotten 3 different invitations. People not from Cincy must think we're a back-assward city. I'll give them that.

P.S.

Sorry, mom and dad, if you're reading this. I know I was raised better. Who am I kidding...their computer is so virus-laden that they'll never get to this blog.

FUCK!

I just realized that we have water coming through our roof into the house. I was walking through the bedroom barefoot when I stepped in a wet spot on the floor. At first, I thought maybe Hannah had an accident, but she never does that. It immediately donned on me that it's been raining all day. Chris and I have suspected that our roof might be leaking, but this is confirmation that our fears were correct. I guess I won't have any fun spending money after all. GODDAMMIT! I'm going to sue that shitty inspector.

A Pleasant Surprise

I got my bonus check today for last fiscal year's performance. Yea! With it, I'm going to pay off the last of my bitch student loans from undergrad. With what's left over, I'm going to treat myself to something; I'm not sure what yet, but I'm sure I can blow a wad on myself. (Well, I know I can do that). Maybe a new leather couch or do something fun like go to Vegas. In two weeks, I'll have all the time in the world on my hands. On the other hand, maybe I should save it for a rainy day. Fuck that noise.

Another Boring Week Ahead

Alas comes another week of total boredom at work. Literally, I have nothing to do. My job will be ending in two weeks, so what's the point in starting any more projects? The internet can only keep me occupied for so long, and then it gets really boring. I will continue my job hunt at work, but that also only takes so much time. I guess I'll have to keep taking super long lunches, run errands and call friends to help my day pass. Anyone want to meet for lunch tomorrow?

Pictures From Yesterday

Here are the pictures from my family birthday celebration and the luau at Rick & Steve's. Both were a very fun time, and now I'm feeling a little hung over. Stupid alcohol, I love you.

All I Have to Say is...

John Wooley cracks my shit up! And, yes, it's 3 in the morning. By the way, John, I'm the youngest of the crowd. So, yes, I'm a young old guy.

Fun Evening Planned

Tonight should be a fun night. Chris and I are first going over to my sister's where we'll celebrate my 32nd birthday. From there, we'll stop by our friends Jim & Rob's place to see the demolition work they started yesterday (while drinking - you go gurls!) that will open their place up from a two family to a one family. Then, we're going to other friends' who are having a Luau party tonight. Chris and I went to Cappel's to buy our grass skirts and shell-decorated flip-flops. The Evite the guys sent out had 84 people say yes to the event along with several maybes and non-responders. It should be a great time - I can't wait to see how Stevie and Rick are going to host 84 people! It'll be a sardine-fest. I just hope they have BPM playing so that I can shake my tush (and grass skirt).

There Are No Good Gay Bars in Cincinnati

This town's gay bars suck. Maybe one exception would be Hamburger Mary's, but the bar area is currently closed for expansion. Carol's sucks - it's all old men and very little bar area. The Pipeline closed, Spurs closed, the Dock is the worst of all. Apparently there is one that opened on Broadway, but my friend Jim went and said it was a dirty dump. Then you have Simon Says that is just WRONG. The Serpent isn't really my scene, although I might have to make it my scene considering what we have to work with here. Why does Dayton, OH of all places have a way fucking cooler club than here? Cincinnati sucks.

What Exactly Do I Do?

Well, check it out for yourself. Here's my resume. I require 6 figures, bitches.

Job Hunting Sucks

I just spent a good 3 hours looking for jobs in the Cincinnati area. No matter how many attractive jobs there might be, the whole process just blows. Anymore, you can't just submit a resume, you are redirected onto the company's site and have to fill out additional interest forms or have to take a survey to see how much of a fit you are with their company. Fuckheads. Either I'm going to take the first job I am offered or I'm just going to start playing the lottery. No, that's a lie. And don't even get me started on the interviewing process. Why do I keep chasing companies out of Cincinnati? All I want to do is get vested! UGH.

So I'm Inked Now....Sort Of

I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo while on vacation. Unfortunately, the state of Massachusetts doesn't allow real tattoos, so I had to get a henna one. I guess I'm considering this a "test period" to see if I really want one. So far, I really, really like it, even though I can't see it. It's actually darker in person; for some reason, the camera is making it look light. They said it should last about 6 weeks, so once it wears off or fades away, I'll make the ultimate decision. Do you like?

Oh Yeah

I turned 32 on Saturday. Although, the birthday was kind of anti-climactic after spending several hours in Logan Airport. It's all good though, I was with good company. Plus, we had fun ripping on all the stupid Delta check-in people. The best part was when our friend Bob told one of them to Fuck Off. Momma, when are you quitting that place?

Last Dance, Last Dance, Toniiiiiiiiiight

What an awesome time we all had in P-Town. I can't even begin to describe everything that went on, but it was pure entertainment the whole time. Chris and I celebrated our 4th anniversary together there and bought rings to mark the occasion. Here's a list of some of the highlights of the trip. (I won't go into specific details, but ask me and I'll tell ya).

1. The Bike Police (two drunkards on a bike pulling other bikers over)
2. Calling everyone Stephanie as they walked by (and them calling us Stephanie back the next day)
3. Tea Dance everyday
4. Weather in the 70's and 80's (ha-ha Cincinnatians)
5. Granny getting a lap dance by a Bacardi go-go boy
6. Kyle and Travis going to buy some fun club clothes, deciding they didn't fit, and got a Reece's Cup instead
7. A little bit of Ecstasy...
8. The awesome house we stayed at
9. The Stooges and Scrannahs
10. Oh yeah, HOT MEN EVERYWHERE

You can check out pictures of the debauchery here.

We're Off

We'll be leaving here in a couple of hours to head to the airport. Agenda? 1. Get to the airport 2. Check in 3. Go directly to the bar 4. Board Plane 5. Arrive in Paradise (well, not really, but at least Boston)

Don't forget to look for us on the P-Town webcam.

Have a good week at work, bitches!

Great Songs from the Grunge Era

In no particular order:

1. Porno For Pyros - Pets
2. Alice in Chains - Would
3. Pearl Jam - Any song off of the album Vs.
4. Jane's Addiction - Jane Says
5. Smashing Pumpkins - Zero
6. Smashing Pumpkins - Any song off of the album Siamese Dream
7. Nirvana - Lake of Fire
8. Nirvana - Plateau (MTV Unplugged) (and the original for that matter)
9. Nirvana - On a Plain
10. Weezer - Hash Pipe (This might be a recent song, but I still like Weezer a lot)
11. Stone Temple Pilots - Vaseline
12. Stone Temple Pilots - Big Bang Baby
13. Soundgarden - Birth Ritual (off the Singles soundtrack)
14. Primus - My Name is Mud

There you have it. Great songs from the recent past. I hope you jammed out to them like I did. "Good Times."

Here's What I'm Looking Forward To

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

We leave tomorrow for Provincetown for Carnival Week. I can't wait, I've been looking forward to this trip since we first booked our flights about 6 months ago. All I have to do is pack tomorrow, and I ended up taking the day off. So, packing will occupy me for about an hour. Then, I'll be bouncing off the walls in anticipation of going to CVG. The best part is that friends of ours will be arriving at the same time in Boston from Charlotte, NC. Let the Alcoholiday begin! By the way, the map is of driving directions from our house to the house we'll stay in once we arrive. But, we're flying, so it will be much more direct. I'm sure I'll be writing more tomorrow since I'll be bored out of my mind, but I promise, I won't be boring you to death about this vacation. Or will I?????

I Didn't Think I'd Ever Admit This...

But, I actually like a Mariah Carey song. Technically, it's her song, but not really. The version in particular that I'm hooked on these days is "We Belong Together - Reconstruction Mix" by Peter Rauhofer. It's addictive and it's been in my head all day. There, I said it. I like a Mariah song. I know, I'm gay.

What a Shame. Release it, release it!

Colin Ferrell is a hottie. I just hope that the tape gets released eventually. Who cares that he's having sex with a woman, I just want to see him buck naked.

I'm a Very Lucky Boy...

To have a caring, generous, awesome partner. Tonight, Chris surprised me with a new digital camera for my birthday. I'm not one to gloat over expensive gifts and I'm not a money whore. (Just ask everyone, I tend to be monetarily conservative). The reason why I wanted to recognize this, and him, is that he saw that I was looking into new cameras and took note. I, by no means, was in the immediate market, but had kind of a mental wish list. Chris observantly realized this and got me a very thoughtful and GENEROUS gift for my birthday - more than a week away. The best part is that he gave it to me early so that I could use it on vacation on Provincetown. All I can say is, Chris, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU x10 and will always. I'm so glad I came up to you at the Dock (very wuss-like) and asked you out. You are my world.

Look at this Waste of Life

So, I'm sitting here reading email, checking my blog, etc., and this is what I look over to see. Go ahead and help yourself to the couch, Hannah. Little whore.

Travelers Checks or Debit Card

Chris has mentioned that he might get travelers checks to take to Provincetown. I don't understand why, because a debit card is just about as secure as travelers checks. I'm not ripping on you bee-bee, but I don't plan on getting travelers checks. I would have to make a special trip to get them, and who knows if some of the shops up there will take them. When I go out, I bring only my ID and cash. That way, I'm not in fear of losing my wallet or being pick-pocketed. I also keep them in my front pocket. Regardless, I personally don't see the need for travelers checks for this trip. There is an ATM right on Commercial Street that I can hit whenever I need to. What do y'all think?

What Ever Happened to the Marathon Bar?

Remember this delicious, long, criss-crossed stick of chocolate-covered caramel? I used to love these growing up, but one day when I wasn't paying attention, they disappeared. I can't even find a picture of the old bar itself, just this wannabe replacement that you can only order online. Stupid marketing people, they never know what's good.

I am so SICK of this

This has been one of the hottest summers in many years - with temperatures in the 90s like 22 out of 60 days. The shitty part about Cincinnati is that the humidity is so high that it feels like you can't breathe when you're out in this kind of weather. I'm over summer. Bring me fall.

These are Really Cool Dogs

I would consider getting one of these if I were to get another dog. The last time we all went down to my parents' lakehouse, a dog of this breed ended up showing up and hanging out with us most of the weekend. It turns out that it was one of the neighbor's dog, but it was really fucking cool. It was laid back, nice, and got along fantastically with Hannah. Chris and I have talked about getting another dog, but we'll see. Apparently, this breed is kind of rare and expensive. Cool as shit though.

You've Got to be Kidding Me

This is just wrong. Pupe

I Can't Wait!!!

We leave for Provincetown this coming Friday and will be there through August 20th. I am so stoked, it's beyond belief. We'll be staying at 119 Commercial Street in a kick-ass house. It's in a PERFECT location for everything, most importantly the people watching. There is a webcam of Commercial Street that you can watch - keep an eye out for us! Also during the week is Carnival - a whole week of special festivities. And LOTS of gay mens! Can I stress how much I'm looking forward to this vacation????? Well, I can't wait, pussies.

And So Does Laura Wooley...

If you need a great designer, you live in the Cleveland area, or not, feel free to contact Laura Wooley. She can turn anything into magic. Once again, we've had a great visit to Cleveland.

John Wooley Rules

'nuff said.

Weekend Roadtrip

Well, we're getting ready to take off for Cleveland to visit with friends and the in-laws. It will be fun to see all the college crew again. Plus, we'll be boating on Lake Erie on Saturday. There will be more than enough (probably too much) alcohol flowing. I'll update you all on Sunday when we get back with pictures, etc. Here's where we'll be staying once we get there. Ciao Baby Canteenas.

I HATE OHIO / KENTUCKY DRIVERS

Why in the FUCK do people insist on going 60 mph in the high speed lane in Cincinnati? I have heard complaints by multiple people (on whether which state drivers are the worst), but it doesn't matter which state is worst to me. The stupid motherfuckers are always causing backups on the interstates, because for some reason, they feel the need to be in the most left-hand lane. IF YOU DUMB-FUCKS can read, it says "Slower Traffic Keep Right." Maybe it's the fact that people can't read. Who knows. Regardless, it causes road rage, not only in me, but in many other drivers. I blame part of the problem on Cincinnati for not expanding I-75 yet (it should have been done 5 years ago or more). But, it doesn't matter which road/highway you're on, there are always STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS going slow in the high-speed lane. The biggest pisser is when those slow people see you start to speed up to go around them, then speed up to not let you pass. Let this be a message to all those retard drivers: YOU SUCK DEAD MONKEY ASS AND SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED ON THE ROAD.

Well, Well, Well....

"Karen Walker. I thought I smelled gin and regret."

Beverly speaks: Clip 1
Clip 2

This is Truly Fucked Up

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Fun, Fun, Fun

Chris and I just got back from Frickers in North College Hill and had a grand ole time. They have some kick-ass chicken chunks by the way. Now I'm having a beer and listening to Technologic by Daft Punk. It's a great song - very Daft Punk. The little guy in the video reminds me of a cross between Chucky from those horror movies and some fucked up Marilyn Manson videos. My favorite video to this day is also by Daft Punk. It's the video to Around the World. I'll be more than happy to send it to you if you'd like to see it. I just don't have a link to put on here. I also get a kick out of the fact that Daft Punk (a two man group) has never shown their faces. At all. Brilliant!

This is Pretty Amazing

An Airbus A340 crashed off the runway landing in Toronto, ON. 309 passengers and the entire crew lived, no fatalities. Here are some pictures of the wreckage. I guess God really doesn't hate the Canadians. Ha.

As Promised...

Here's a picture off of my new phone. I met Mother at the park in Hyde Park square to have a few adult beverages. As you can see, Mother loves her beer. See, you can tell by her belly. Haha, JUST KIDDING, Mommy.

Off the new phone

Well, I thought I could download a picture off my new phone, but apparently, I have to change some settings. Word to the wise for those that buy off of Ebay. Here's a not-so-much picture that I tried downloading from tonight. You'll at least get the picture.

No, that's not a tiny hat on my head, it's a sign in back. Anyway, we had fun, and that's all that matters. I'll upload the REAL picture(s) from tonight sometime manana.

Time for me to hit the hay. Wish it were the bong.

I'm Half Dead

So, I went onto DeathClock.com and found out that I'll only live until I'm 67. Great, I'm halfway there already. The worst part is that I die on my older sister's birthday - January 6th. I better get in as much drinking, drugs and dick as I can until then. (Just kidding about the dick part, unless it's my bee-bee Chris).

Which Do You Like Better?

This is a picture of my current car. (Not my car, but the same model and color).

Lexus IS300

Here is its replacement coming out this fall.

Lexus IS350

In my opinion, there are pluses and minuses to each. The current model has that raw, sporty look to it and is very unique compared to other Lexus models. However, the interior is not as up to Lexus standards - it's more Toyota-ie (with more plastic and inferior materials). The new model looks much more refined and offers a lot more luxury, as well as bells and whistles. But, it lacks that unique balls-to-the-wall stance. Just my opinion. I am by no means in the market right now, but who knows, I might be a kick-ass raise when I start a new job.