After Kathy

Well, Friday night was a blast. Kathy Griffin, as expected, kept us roaring with laughter. Afterwards, we went to The Metro and then Talbott Street. The Metro was very fun, although Talbott Street was kind of dead. I guess it's not a "Friday Night" bar. Oh well, we still got plastered nonetheless. Saturday, Chris and I were WOLs and didn't do much at all. We went to BW-3's in Norwood and then headed to Hamburger Mary's for a while afterwards. Today, I did a bunch of nothing until I had to head to my sister's to watch my neice. After that, I went to Rookwood Commons and hit Banana, Old Navy, and DSW. Banana and Old Navy were busts, but I ened up getting a pair of sneaks and some cool flip flops. So, I'll be looking all glam, and whatnot, this summer. Now it's time to have a few end-of-the-weekend adult bevs. That's my exciting story. I know you're all on the edge of your seats with this post. Nyeeeeh.

D-List Star, A-List Comedian

I am SO looking forward to tomorrow night. We're going to see Kathy Griffin perform stand-up in Indy. If you haven't seen any of her material, you must be living under a rock (and a very boring one at that). Her show The D List is great, but her Allegedly DVD is fucking hilarious! I highly recommend buying it, watching it, or at least borrowing ours. My main mission is to become her best gay (fan). That loser on The D List that gave her a bag of candles is going to be bumped to #2. I'm going to prepare her a bag of Olay products - Regenerist, Total Effects, Quench - you name it. That way, she can wait a few weeks to look weeks younger. (You have to watch the show to get that reference). Regardless, it's going to be a fun, fun weekend. I know you're all jealous, but that's the way it's going to be. At least for the next 5 minutes.

Pot & Brotherhood

I wonder how true that title is. Brotherhood meaning actual nuclear brothers. I guess it depends on the family. For some reason, I don't think it's necessarily a realistic mix in the case that I'm thinking of. You never know though. I think it would would be funny as hell though if pot & brotherhood actually mixed in the situation. I would PAY to be a fly on the wall to hear that converastion. It's all fantasy though on my part, as I know the bros I'm writing about would (probably) never toke it up together. Then again, stranger things have happened. Don't listen to me, I'm just imgaining out-loud.

P.S. You (that I'm referring to) know who you are.
P.P.S. It's not me because I don't have a brother.
P.P.P.S. I didn't refer to Chris in this post.

Two Great New Songs

You need to check out these two songs that are currently playing on XM. They are, in one word, sick. Sick as in unbelievably awesome. The first is Faster Kill Pussycat by Paul Oakenfold featuring Brittany Murphy. The second one is dirrrty and I love it. It's called Bilingual by Jose Nunez featuring Taina. Oh yea, make sure you listen to the dirty mix. There is a cleaned up version and a dirty version. Go for dirty. 'Nuff said, biotches.

Good Times

No Comment.

Things That Suck

There were several things about today that sucked. I know how much you all love lists, so here goes:

• Going to work on Monday morning
• Doing laundry
• Nothing on TV
• My hunny being out of town
• Folding laundry
• Ironing
• Coming to the end of the internet
• Not being able to seal the driveway because it's going to rain tomorrow
• Crawling traffic on the way home from work (on Central Parkway) because of construction

So, there wasn't much good about this particular Monday. The one thing that didn't suck is that Hannah and I took a walk through the nature preserve at the end of our street. Beyond that, pure suckdom. How did your Monday suck?

Another Reason I Hate ABC

Tonight, there was a new episode of Deperate Housewives. At least it was listed as "new." It turned out to be an hour of recapping past episodes. I have absolutely fucking had it with ABC and their bullshit antics this year. They start off with GREAT shows at the beginning of seasons and then pull all sorts of crap mid-season. Per one of my earlier posts, they start skipping weeks and showing re-runs. Then, the new episodes start becoming fewer and fewer, without any sort of pattern at all. So, every week, it becomes a crap-shoot. Now, tonight's episode is listed as new, and it turns out to be an hour-long recap of past epidodes. WHAT THE FUCK??? I know that viewership is everything with the networks. Well, at this rate, ABC has pretty much lost a regular viewer. It's way beyond riduculous at this point.

I'm Spent

I had a very productive day today. Here's the list of completed activities:

1. Cut the grass
2. Went to Home Depot to buy Weed Eater wire
3. Weed-ate (Trimmed all the edging)
4. Cleaned all the weeds out of the front beds (which took about 2 hours)
5. Picked up dog shit in the yard
6. Cut a bunch of weeds/bushes out of the back yard
7. Used the blower to clean the driveway
8. Put topsoil down where the dumbass pizza driver ripped up the topsoil and grass seed that we put down last weekend
9. Put in new tree edging
10. Went back to Home Depot to buy hedge trimmers
11. Re-spread the mulch

So, now I'm having some beers. Imagine that. I'll be sleeping in tomorrow, so don't call until after 12. Or else I'll have to kill you.

Shiiiit, I muthafuckin' praise Jesus!

Check this crazy shit out.

ABC Sucks

I have a bone to pick with ABC. As mentioned in an earlier blog, I talked about how TV has been very slackerish in the recent months about showing new episodes of certain TV shows. Well, I have to point out that the biggest violator of this has been ABC. Fox is the second biggest violater of this, but I'll get to that at a later date. My prime examples are of two shows that Chris and I watch (or at least used to watch on a regular basis). The two in particular are Lost and Invasion. Lost, on average, has been absent every other week (if not more). Invasion hasn't been new since about last November. So, there was a new episode on tonight of Invasion, but it's a fucking joke. For not being on for that long, I don't even remember what happened the last time I watched. Hence, I'm seriously about ready to give up on them. It's a shame, because I think they could have a long, viable life on TV. But, not on ABC's schedule.

The '80s Are Funny, Yet a Little Ridiculous

So, we're watching the moving The Edge of Seventeen on LOGO. It brings me back to some fond memories, but, looking back on it all...how queer! Then again, this is a queer movie. But, it cracks me up looking back on some of the trends. None that I ever got into, but guys wearing eyeliner? The long, crazy hair-dos? The awful clothes? What were people thinking? It's actually pretty damn funny. I highly doubt any of THOSE trends will make their way back, but then again, I never thought bell-bottoms would ever circle back around. Just do one thing, if you ever see me wearing a hat like Michael Stipe wore, shoot me.

A Test for the Cincinnatians

And I don't have the answer. BUT, I've wondered this many times before...because sometimes I have a lot of time on my hands. I'm wondering what the longest road in the greater Cincinnati area is. To be clear, I'm not talking about Route 17 or Highway this and that. I'm talking specific street names. Off the top of my head, I can think of a few really long streets. Here they are: Galbraith Road, Kemper Road, Harrison Avenue, Montgomery Road. These aren't any short-bus streets. These are some seriously long roads. So, I have NO CLUE what the longest same-named road is in the 'Nati, but it's a good trivia question, right? What is your guess?

Crazy Weather

I know I'm not the only one who enjoys crazy weather. I'm watching it now as I type this. There is something about a good thunderstorm and lightning. It's intriguing, yet entertaining or soothing at the same time. I'm jealous that about 15 miles south, they got golf-ball size hail and we just got rain. Oh well. I'm convinced that we'll get our fair share of fun. That is, if you consider hail and tornado warnings as fun. I know, I'm not normal. No need to reiterate something I already know. I'm just glad that I don't live in a trailer park.

Disturbing Commercials

Have any of you seen any of the new VW commercials? They're kinda creepy. If any of you have been in a car accident, it's kind of a grim throwback. They go like this.... "Yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, CRASSSHHH!" Totally blindsided in the commercial, much like in real life. I disapprove. Much like I disapprove of VW's. They're the devil.

Out of the Loop

Sorry I've been remiss in posting. I've been feeling like shit. Since Tuesday, I've felt like crap and have been dragging myself into work. I'm still not feeling the greatest, but this is the first time I've had a chance to even look at my blog. I just took a shot of NyQuil, so I'm sure I'm not good for much longer. Anyway, I'll be more on my sarcastic/weird game in the next couple of days. In the meantime, practice the Sesame Street theme song. I'll be quizzing you all later.

Intervention

Have any of you watched this show on A&E? Oh my God, the people on there are trainwrecks! Tonight's episode was about a guy who was a chronic alcoholic (doing between 11 and 22 shots every day) and has been drinking for 14 years. There was also a girl on there that was a heroin addict who'd been shooting up for 5 years. The fucked up part, especially with the drug usage, is that they show these people getting drunk/high on camera. Chris and I always have to look away when they show someone shooting up, jamming a needle into their arm. There's one thing I know for sure - I'll NEVER do crystal meth or heroin. It's some truly messed up shit. I still can't get over how these people come to even trying it. I guess they're what Red Foreman (from That 70's Show) would call "dumbasses."

Thank God

I'm so happy to be home. I ended up driving 6 hours tonight from the NW suburbs of Chicago. We took one 10 minute stop for a gas refill and "dinner" (which turned out to be a bunch of snacks). The reason the damn trip took so long is because I-94 is apparently under some sort of major construction. So, the brainiac who was navigating, took us through a map-trip through Indiana. By the way, I FUCKING HATE Macs. I've now tried typing this 3 times and it's erased a certain portion each time. I digress back to my story. The next time I have to or want to go to Chi-town, my ass is flying. And I highly recommend you all doing the same. The trip was fucking miserable. And when I say it was miserable, it was because I was going 80 mph most of the time. You do the math. OK, I'm done bitching. I hope you all have a goot night. I have to cuddle with my honey now. Try not to be jealous.

P.S. The car we rented was a brand new Chrysler 300. Me being anti-American car, it was a sweet ride. Very smooth and powerful. Kind of like my Chris.

P.P.S. He SO owes me for that

Sorry, Folks, Park's Closed

Well, I'll be out of the loop for a few days. I have to go to Chicago for work and won't return until Friday night (probably late considering the weather we are looking foward to). In the meantime, I would suggest doing one of three things:

1. Start a garage sale pile
2. Count the number of times you say "the" each day
3. Reply in my comments section your last experience at a BINGO night you've been to.

I can't wait to hear what you all have to contribute. Really.

The Rents

So, my mom and dad are looking to move closer to their grandkids (and their daughter/son-in-law). I never thought my parents were as picky as they originally portrayed. When they first mentioned wanting to move, their only criteria were a two car garage, a ranch with a basement, and a minimum of 3 bedrooms. Well, the list has grown. First of all, my dad wanted to move to Northern Kentucky (because it's cheaper than living on the East side of Cincy where my sister lives). My mother absolutely did NOT want to move to Kentucky because she's a typical Cincinnatian, meaning "I'll never live in Kentucky." Well, I give my dad credit - he's not backing down as easily as we all thought he would. So, they've gone middle of the road and are checking out both Ohio and Kentucky. The problem thusfar has been that, as they have been looking at prospective houses, their list of requirements keep growing. As with most people, there is a certain neighborhood "type" that they want. Well, the areas with the types of housing that they want are kind of limited within a 5-15 minute drive to my sister's. Some of the additional criteria that has surfaced include a formal dining room (not just a great room), a decent sized back yard, and a good-sized kitchen. The biggest issue with all the houses they've looked at is that most of them don't have a formal dining room. My thoughts....boo hoo. They want to be within a certain distance to the grandkids, they're going to have to start realizing that they may not necessarily get everything they want in a house. Or (just a novel idea), wait a while, keep looking and maybe that dream house will come along. Well, things in the Loos family don't work that way. We'll continue hearing all about their woes until they move. And if they do end up settling, forget it. We'll never hear the end of it. I guess that's what happen when people start getting old.

P.S. My parents don't have a working computer to read this.
P.P.S. I love my parents and I'm not bitching about them. (Too much).

I Would Be SO Pissed

I'm not sure if this is staged or not, but I can't imagine it would be. I would have murdered the dumbass reporter if this was my creation. Check this video out.

Sunday Chores

Chris and I were busy beavers today. Let me rephrase that, because we really weren't busy twats today. We were busy with around-the-house chores. Chris washed and vacuumed both the Honda and the VW. Meanwhile, I started ripping up all the weeds and grass along the driveway and walk where we had flowers planted last year. What a fucking pain in the ass. Once that was all done, I planted Calla Lily bulbs and filled in the whole area with top soil. Now my back is sore. So, I'm having a beer. Oh yea, since it was such a nice day today (70 degrees), we opened all the windows in the house. It was so nice airing out this place and letting the sun pour in. So, that was our productive day. What did you buttwipes do today?

OMG

I'm watching a classic episode of Saturday Night Live and the guest star is Pee Wee Herman. Sick.