HD FINALLY

I'm pumped. Chris and I will be getting HD over DirecTv within a week! A year ago, a DirecTv tuner that broadcasts HD and Tivo was about a grand. Well, the price has finally come down to $300. We're totally going to take the plung. It will be so nice watching HD on our HDTV for once. I guess we've gotten so used to the graininess of the big screen picture that we don't even notice it anymore. Not for long, suckers. We'll be watching Desperate Housewives and other faggy shows with a crispiness the Keebler elves will be jealous of. Want to come over and see Martha's blemishes & wrinkles? Stop by. We'll be catty and make fun together.

Stupid Fucking Youtube

I've been trying now for over a month to set up my blog account on Youtube. No matter what browser I try using (Firefox, Internet Explorer, Safari), none of them are successful in setting up my blog onto Youtube. It's not the browsers' fault, it's piece-of-shit Youtube. I ended up writing the blog editor an email about it, asking if she could help me or direct me to someone in their tech department for help. Response: no response. It's a shame because posting videos on my blog that directs traffic to their site is a win for them. I guess they don't want it bad enough. Dumb cunts.

Reminicsing

How fucking cute was my little girl? This picture speaks for itself. She's an old lady now, and I love her even more. But, how could you possibly say anything negative to this??????

An Interactive Blog...Sort of

OK, so our friend Rob mentioned that the house he lives in has more doors than it does windows. Interesting. I thought I'd take an inventory of our house. Turns out, ours is the same. WHO KNEW? Survey says - we have 27 windows (not counting 1/2 basement windows). Meanwhile, we have 36 doors in our house. This counts interior doors (closets included) as well as doors that lead to the outside of the house also. (Some rules to this madness: if you have French doors, only count that as one. Don't include garage doors). So, does this rule apply to your home? Leave in the comments area your ratio. You know you want to do it. You know you're going to brag about how many doors you have. Kind of like how "BIG" you are.

"TEAM AMERICA"...Highly Recommended

You have to watch Team America World Police. This movie is FUCKING HILARIOUS! I'd heard about it before, but Chris rented it, so that's what we watched tonight. It was NOTHING that I thought it might be. It was a sheer delight. For those of you who've seen it, all I have to say is "MATT DAMON." I know this doesn't necessarily sound funny, but I highly encourage you to rent this flick. You'll shit yourself laughing. (Kind of like the shit scene in the movie)

Oktberfest Zinzinnati

Drinking, eating, people-watching. What's more fun than that? As always, we had a blast down at the largest Oktoberfest outside of Munich. I ran into so many people that I hadn't seen in years last night. And also people I see ALL the time. Ugh. Just kidding. It was very, very fun. I'm not sure if we'll be heading down there again today or not, but there is a distinct possibility we will. If we do, come find us. We'll try and be nice to you.

Oh yea, here are more pictures.

The Big Weekend...

is cumming. Oktoberfest Zinzinnati, that is. That, of course, means lots of deliciously decadent food and LOTS of beer. I mean lots. We'll be there Saturday and Sunday, so keep an eye out for us. Many times, we're parked in front of the Westin Hotel, making fun of others or being critical of people lesser than us. It's what keeps us going. Anyway, I felt the need to put up an OLD, OLD picture to illustrate how long this tradition has been happening with myself and friends. I know that you're jealous...EXTREMELY jealous of me. And I don't blame you.

Rain is on the way

The reason I know that is because that's what the TV told me. Also, the satellite signal is starting to pixelate and freeze. Dammit, now what am I going to do? It better be a bitch of a storm to make it worth having no TV. I'm sure we won't get crap though. I shouldn't be surprised, it is a Monday after all.

House Cleaning = Slave Work

I fucking hate cleaning our house. Whoever told me way back in the day that hardwood floors are easy to take care of was a liar. FYI for those of you who are considering buying or building a house with hardwood floors and forced air heating - you're in for a big surprise. Shit floats everywhere and dust is your new best friend. Add a dog, ie: labrador retriever, and you should expect fur tumbleweeds on a daily basis. I mentioned this to Chris a couple of times before, mostly joking, but I have had it. I'm this far from hiring Merry Maids. Why the hell did we buy such a big house in the first place anyway?????? Oh yeah, because I wanted one.

P.S. Mark my words, I won't be cleaning in the very near future. We WILL pay to have a clean house.

Alternative Post

I was going to post about something different than what I'm about to....something much more juicy. But, in the meantime, I just tried taking my contacts out. All off a sudden, one of them went up inside my eye. Any other contact-wearer has for sure experienced this. It's a FUCKING PAIN IN THE ASS. When it happens, it goes up (not down) under your eyelid. Trying to get it out is like trying to coax a fish to jump into your hand. It took me a good 10 minutes to get the mother out. I'm sure my eye will be all fresh and bright in the morning, not all blood-shoot and swollen. Stupid contacts. I'm getting lasic first thing in the morning. Anyway, back to my original thought, that was................?

I Just Made Homemade Oatmeal Cookies

I am so fucking Betty Crocker. Or Aunt Jemima. Or would it be Martha? I don't know, you decide.

Don't Ever Travel by Train

That's the lesson I've learned tonight. I watched some show on A&E or TLC or BET that told me I need to be very careful when traveling on, near or around trains. Bad things happen to people who ride or drive past trains. Ie: Derailments, explosions, and crashed cars. I'm so very happy that I don't live in an area where I have to deal with any of thee above. (Yes, I know that is a misspelling, but I wanted to get my phonetic point across). Point in case was the situation that occured last year near Mt. Lookout (a Cincinnati suburb) with the styrene leak. Granted, there were no explosions, derailments or car crashes. But, it did pollute the environment and created a class action suit. Anyway, I have been taught tonight by the TV that trains are bad. So, never take a train. Never get near a train. Never cross railroad tracks <-- That being the most important learning. Only trust airplanes. They're the safest travel ever. At least that's what the TV tells me.