Labor Day Weekend

What are y'all up to this weekend? Not so sure here. Possibly going to Cleveland, possibly not. If we happen to not go, is there anything fun going on? I was thinking of trying to catch the fireworks somewhere, but don't have a plan at this point. I thought there was one, but I realized we're losers and we have no plans. SO, if you would LOVE for us to grace us with our presence, feel free to call. Otherwise, I made a mean/bad choice to keep us in town. Put another way, I am on the rag.

Ow

I have an ear-ache. I knew something was up yesterday when my hearing seemed a little belabored. Thank God, Chris has some ear-douche left from her last ear infection. Honestly, I can't ever remember having an ear-ache growing up. The thing that I don't get is that I use Q-Tips every day after I get out of the shower. So, why the ear-ache now? Maybe Chris cums in my ear at night when I'm asleep. Hmm, no. I wear earplugs. Maybe that's it - do ears need to breathe at night? Oh, who the fuck cares - my ear hurts. These drops better take care of things or else I'm going to jab a pencil into it. Double negatives make a positive, right?

Sell This House

I'm sitting here watching a marathon of Sell This House, and lo & behold, Chastity Bono is featured in this episode. She can't sell her house. She's a bull-dyke and, by default, she should know how to rebuilt an entire house. Oh well, I guess if you're a quasi-celebrity, then you're exempt from certain things. Interestingly enough, they said that Cher is a big Sell This House fan and asked Roger Hazard for help in selling Chastity's house. Crazy. And now I'm at a loss on how to end this post on a humorous/sarcastic way. SHIT.

This is what we heard EVERY day....

Click here for the ultimate ear fantasy.

If you haven't had enough...

Here are more pictures from P-Town, courtesy of Jim and Rob. Thanks, Ladies.

P.S. "Lemonade for sale. Fifty cents."
P.P.S. "Oh SHITT!"

Back To Hell

Today was the first day back to work after our vacation and it sucked. I literally spent most of the day just getting through email. (That didn't include any follow-ups or projects resulting from some of them). Now, I'll be in market research tomorrow through Thursday. Yea, my life blows. Lesson learned: never go on vacation unless you are unemployed.

BTW...

One of my new favorite songs is Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado (Raphi Rosario Mix). F'ing Sick-Kick-Ass.

Orgasmic Fun

Now that I have your attention, I'll tell you all about Carnival 2006 in Provincetown. The title says it all. It was every bit as enjoyable as having an orgasm without the mess. Although someone there WAS A MAJOR MESS. (Whore-wise, that is). Regardless, we had another great group this year, as well as a few random additions...thanks to Rob P, Peters, Rob H, and yours truly. Highlights of the trip include (all of which include explanation):

• Wheelie's Varla treat
• "Bow-wow"
• "Lemonade for sale - Fifty Cents"
• 7 for 7 (SLUT)
  
• Cell phone mishap
• "OH SHIITT!!!!!!"
• 3 break-downs (gay men crying)
• Theme Song: Promiscuous by Nelly Fratado
• "Those guys are notorious" - quote from a random's friend about all of us
  

Well, that's aboot it for now. I'll fill you all in on the rest later. In the meantime, I have to concentrate on practicing bulimia. In a week's time, I turned into a pot-belly pig. Oink, oink.

Oh yeah, here are the pictures, Stephanies.

So Long, Farewell, Aufweiderschen, Goodbye...

Well, Party People, tonight is the last night for me to write until we get back. I would post another list for you to partake in, but since there weren't any comments from the last post, I take it none of you participated in any of those suggestions. So, screw you. Um, I mean, refer to those. I know you'll die without hearing from me for so long, but "hold on to the memories...." I'll be back with LOTS of stories to share, I'm sure. If you're lucky, I'll post a picture or two. Alright, bitches, SSSSSMELL YA LATER..........

A Day From Hell

Today fucking SUCKED. Work was out of control. In short, meetings almost all morning, research in the afternoon, during research - worked on 2 projects that had to get done by the end of the day, and figured out how to cut $8 million from the budget. Oh, and I didn't leave the research facility until 7:30 tonight. I am going on vacation with a vengence. I went right from work to BW-3. OOoooo, a hot cop on the news! Sorry, I'm easily sidetracked. Anyway, I swear I will soon start writing about more interesting things, ie: masturbation, poop, and K-holes. For now, Loos - out. Smell ya later.

Me Achin' Back

I slaved tonight (more than I had originally planned). Since we are leaving on Friday, I wanted to make sure this dump was clean for the girl who's going to be watching Hannah while we're gone. I started to dust, which led to Swiffing (a lot of Swiffing), along with doing laundry. Now my back hurts. Boo hoo squish squish. I don't care...all I know is that I'm on vacation in 3 days. Are you jealous? Well, you should be. NYEEEEEEEEEEEEHHH.

I'm REALLY Starting to Get Antsy

I leave this coming Friday for Provincetown. It seemed so far off, but the time is nearing. This week is going to be the longest week at work. The beach is my absolute favorite kind of vacation, let alone in an almost entire gay area. Ahh, tea dance everyday at 4:00, Spiritus Pizza gather time after the clubs close, and MEN everywhere. I can't wait. The pictures I put up are of the group last year. Get ready for more of this year's debauchery. It will be DIIIRRRRTTYY.

Working is REALLY Hard

I was out of town Tuesday afternoon and all day Wednesday at an offsite meeting with a vendor. Today - pure chaos at work. So, I had to work at home tonight (until about 10:15). Tomorrow - meetings ALL day with no breaks. That's why I haven't been diligent about filling you in on my mundane life. "Sorry folks, park's closed." Well, I'm back in business. Well, for now. Chris and I are going down to Elmer Davis Lake this weekend with his family and there's no internet service down there. (I KNOW... It's hard to believe). So, I'll be sure and update you on Matt's loser life on Sunday when we return. In the meantime, I'll give you more activities to keep you occupied.

1.) Toilet paper your neighbor or friend's house
2.) Start a paper mache hobby
3.) Count how many people you have had sex/heavy foreplay with (I know this will be harder for some of you than others. BTW, no pun intended)
4.) Clean out your refrigerator
5.) Get your parents (if applicable) wasted and get as many deep secrets out as possible
6.) Wreit evyrehtnig yuo do ala fkucde up (it's amazing how you will still be able to understand it)
7.) Cash in all your spare change and send the money to me
8.) Visit your local 4H club
9.) Start a rumor about one of your friends that lives out of town winning the lottery and see how far it goes/how long it lasts. (My friends and I from college did this and it worked!)
10.) Enjoy a hot carl

Well, that should keep you busy. I'll be back with more on Sunday, Scroatlicks.