What To Do Tomorrow

It's supposed to be 60 degrees and party cloudy tomorrow. I hear hooky calling. Plus, my boss will be in an almost all-day meeting. Let me think, things I could do....

1. Go to a movie
2. Go to a bar
3. Buy another dog
4. Buy a new car
5. Knock down a wall in our house
6. Download songs without paying for them
7. Stare in Chris's window at work and jeer
8. Trim body hair
9. Rollerblade down Mt. Adams

I guess I'll have to sleep on it. Unfortunately, I know I'll pussy out and end up working anyway. So, forget what I just wrote. Seriously, jab a sharp object into your head so that it's erased from your memory. Gracias.

The Result...

The car show was, at best, mediocre. Chris and Brian forewarned us last night, and they were right. There weren't a lot of "wows" as far as new cars go. I guess it's a good thing, otherwise we might have gone right to a dealer and drunk-bought a new car. There were a few that are worth mentioning: We were intriuged by some of the BFTs. (Big Fucking Trucks). I always wondered why some pickup trucks were running $40K plus. Now I understand. They are REALLY big and have a lot of the same amenities that some luxury cars offer. Another worth mentioning was the Toyota FJ. It's the concept-gone-production of the first Toyota Land Cruiser. You'll see a lot of them in 1970s movies when people are on African Safari type trips. Very cool, very retro, but Chris's Element has a lot more room. Next is the Infiniti G35 Coupe. Very fucking hot, very cool. No new news there, but Chris and I would both love to own one. Lastly, and most dearly to my heart, the IS. I love the new Lexus IS 350 & 250 AWD. It's so much more Lexus than my car, but I guess as you get older, your tastes mature as well. I still LOVE my car and I have no plans on selling it any time soon. But, this particular car has come a long way. There are SO many more bells and whistles than mine has. But, all those rings and dings come at a price. If I wanted to buy a new IS, I'd be spending about $10-$15 more than I spent on my car. Oh well, we can all pipe-dream, right? All in all, the car show was something to do on a Sunday afternoon. And they served beer. What else would one ask for? Maybe some percocet or vallium, but that only happens in Amsterdam. Hmmm....I all of a sudden feel like taking a trip.

Off To The Show

The car show is in town this weekend and we're going to check it out. I suggested taking the bus down so that we don't have to leave one of our cars when we come back with a new one. I mean, come on, we're instant-gratification gay men. It's only natural.

Off To The Show

The car show is in town this weekend and we're going to check it out. I suggested taking the bus down so that we don't have to leave one of our cars when we come back with a new one. I mean, come on, we're instant-gratification gay men. It's only natural.

Sam's

OK, I am not a big fan of Sam's Club. I LOVE Costco and wish there were one closer to our house - the only ones around are in Mason and Tri-County. Anyway, if you get a chance, go to Sam's this weekend and check out my work. There will be demos (women giving samples, offering advice, etc) for our Olay products. Plus, there will be 4 pallets of our products. Yes, I was involved in making this happen. I know, I rock. BTW, we didn't get the usual blue-hairs to demo for us - we made sure there were decent looking chicks doing the talking. Sick, I was just re-reading what I wrote and I sound like the biggest queen on earth. Wait, no, that would be the Little Girl. "I'm not a ma'am, I'm a man!"

Alright, Already

So, I got an email from someone I won't reveal *cough, DougBillSusan, cough* yelling at me for not revealing what I got Chris for his birthday. Nosey. If you must know, I ended up giving him an all-expenses paid trip to Belterra Resort & Casino in Indiana on March 4th. Well, leave on Saturday, gamble, eat, gamble, drink, gamble, drink, have sex, gamble & drink. Then we'll pass out and possibly wake up to have mimosa's so that we are in the mood to gamble again. I also gave him $100 to get started with. So, wish us luck, bitches, and maybe we'll treat you to an ice cream cone after we win $1,000,000.

Is it Friday Yet?

I was off work today and am dreading having to go back tomorrow. I refer to this as having the MNDs, or Monday Night Depression. Short weeks always seem longer to me, maybe because I have to get the same amount of work done in a shorter period of time. Oh well, at least I have something to look forward to on Wednesday - Chris's birthday! If you haven't already, email Chris and wish him a happy 30th birthday. It would make his day (since he's older than that). On Wednesday, I'll reveal what I got Chris for his birthday. I hope he likes it, but I'm not really worried that he won't. OK, time for bed. Loos, out.

Inspired

By Roger Hazard from the show Sell This House (and the fact that we're getting a nice income tax refund). We've decided on getting a new bed. No more bowing in the middle and Chris stealing my space. We're getting a king size bed! I'm very excited because now I will have plenty of room to relax and sleep without Chris's dagger toenails cutting me anymore.

I Like Mike

Tonight, we met up with Lena, Rob, Suz, and Mike. Mike is Suzanne's boyfriend. This was the first time I really got to talk to him and I approve him for her. Another reason I like him a lot is because we own the same car. Ha! Great minds think alike.

Side note: Hannah is the piece of shit waste of life right now. She's taking up 2/3 of the couch. I have to move so that she's comfortable. And I thought Chris was difficult. Just kidding Chris.....Love ya, mean it.

Chris is Snoring

Ugh, I have to crawl into bed with a snorer. Good thing I have earplugs in my nightstand to drown that shit out. I know what I can get Chris for his b-day now... some anti-snore nose strips. Thank God, I have been fretting over what to get hu for hu birthday. Great ideas sometimes come when you're drunk.

By the way, my shit has been like water today. Not fun.

Name That Movie

"Why you always callin' me yo bitch or yo ho or yo hootchie?"

"Cause that's what you are, bitch."

I'm a Bad Daddy

February 6th was Hannah's birthday and I totally forgot. Ugh, I suck and now I know why she has been all needy lately. Although, when Jung and her boyfriend Jeff watched Hannah, she got to split a cheap steak with Jeff's dog, Bishop. Still, I can't believe I forgot to get her a plush squeeker toy. First person in line, I'm ready for my spanking.

Not a Lot to Say

So, I'm back in dready Cincinnati after exotic, warm Cancun. I don't have much very exciting to say, other than I've been pretty much addicted to the Olympics. Hannah has been driving us friggin' insane - she's been so needy lately. That just reassures that I'll NEVER have kids. Maybe I'll go throw in a porn. That will pass 5 minutes. Or maybe I'll think of a new descriptor to refer to all you BITCHES!!

And One Last Post

Look. Gays. They're funny.

Introducing...

The newest member of the Sharp household, Evan Matthew Sharp. That's my newest nephew and he was born this past Friday at 11:00 p.m. Chris and I went over to see him today and I'm happy to report everyone is healthy and thankful. Here are a few more pictures of via the stork.

Back From Heaven

I can't believe we just got back from Cancun in 80 degree weather and we're now in snowy Ohio. Boo hoo squish squish. The trip we took was sick. Everything was free, everything was beautiful (except some of the fellow vacationers), and we had a stellar time. Where do I begin???? When we got to the resort, we checked in and were originally supposed to stay in one section of the place. Turns out, Chris's mom requested adjoining rooms so that they could be next door to the grandkids. Well, the desk guy had to upgrade us (for free) into the nicest section of rooms. They were bigger and were more or less suite areas vs. just one room. In addition, we had a nice balcony with a hammock and a big bathroom with a shower and jacuzzi tub.

Ok, enough of the boring stuff. Then comes the booze. I think there was only one day where I waited to have my first drink until 1:00. Most of the time it was before then. The best part: it's free. Pretty much any kind of drink you wanted - free. So was all the food. There were buffet type restaurants and also sit-down themed restaurants. The sit-down restaurants we hit were a steakhouse, italian, gourmet and my favorite of all, Japanese. Beyond that, there were several different bars, a couple of discos, and last but not least, the beach. The beach was awesome. That's were we spent a lot of our time. The water was warm, the bar was VERY close and the waves were great for body-surfing. One day, Chris, Josh and John rented jet skis out there and it was pretty funny to watch.

There was one day when the weather was cloudy, so we went to a big shopping area called Playa del Carmen. It was very interesting to see all the different vendors and their various selling techniques. We bought a few things there, but nothing big. A different day, Chris and I were thinking of swimming with dolphins, but never got around to it. I think it was because Chris was hung over from the night before. Or was that me?

At night, there were various shows that you could see, including a kids show which proved to be invaluable to John & Laura with their daughters, Megan and Mira. Chris and I saw a show one night where a bunch of newlyweds were competing for, well, I don't know what. But, it was pretty damn funny. It was a cross between the newlywed game and fear factor. Good times.

Alas, it's all over now and my savage tan is going to be slowly fading away. But, I will say it's well worth the experience. Especially when the experience is free. Thanks Big John & Momma Carol! Here are more pictures of our trip. One last word...if you ever do make it to Cancun or the surrounding area, be ready for a total clusterfuck at the airport. Also, be prepared for arguments or annoyances from the people you've traveled with. Apparently, Chris was "snotty" to his mom. And his mom was bossy and slow. Alledgedly.

Last Post for a While

I know that half the world lives on every word I write on here, so I feel it's my duty to provide you with some activities during my vacation hiatus. Here are 10 suggestions to help pass the time:

1. Masturbate (it will pass 5 minutes each day)
2. Rent every Star Wars movie ever made and make it a marathon
3. Start an ant farm
4. Memorize all 50 states and their respective capitals (if you don't already know them)
5. Join your local 4H club
6. Toilet paper your neighbors' house that live 4 doors down (in either direction)
7. Try your hand at writing a computer virus
8. Make up your own hyperbole
9. Look in the telephone directory and call every "Johnson" that is listed. Talk to them. Get to know them.
10. Create a life-size diorama and pretend YOU are on vacation

Have fun next week, bitches. I'll be drunk while you're at work!

Are You Kidding Me???

We got a call tonight from our, well, Chris's, brother-in-law saying that we were selected to go to Chicago for a kind of pre-screening for the World Series of Pop Culture tournament that I blogged about last night. Here's the deal: we have to take a written test and if we pass that, we get interviewed by the producers/crew of this show. If we then pass, there is a pre-competition we have to participate in that would determine whether or not we get to go to New York. CRAZY SHIT! I'm still befuddled that we sent our responses in yesterday and John Wooley got an email the next day to say that we are being considered. Since then (a whole 2 hours later), we've already agreed to take the trip to Chicago. Wish us luck, pussies. We may be the next Cincinnati celebrities. Move over Nick Lachey.....