Oh, The Holidays

Ya can't beat 'em. There's nothing like spending your evening being a piece of shit in front of the TV watching Bewitched (the movie). I cherish these times. I also like baked ham, but I'll save that for a different blog. Regardless, I'm here to talk about dysfunctia. It always brings my back to warm times with my family around Christmas. Which........is why I like the holidays.

P.S. Will one of you turn the logs in front of the fire?

Merry Christmas, All Y'all

Once again, we had a great Christmas all around. Chris and I went to Cleveland on Saturday morning and spent time there until Monday morning. We then drove back to Cincy and did festivities with my family, finally collapsing at home tonight. The best thing is that we got all sorts of fun, unexpected (but GOOD) gifts this year. I'll go into more detail later, but we had a personal assistant telling us where we needed to go all weekend. I'm jealous. (More to come later). And for me, I got pretty much a total computer overhaul - I could sit here for hours. Here are pictures of our holiday if you're at all interested. I hope you all had a good one too. Or a happy Hanukkah. Or a happy Kwanza. Or a happy, um, Buddah holiday. Whatever it is, I hope it was fun.

P.S. My brand new nephew, Evan, is not drinking the beer you see in this picture. He's only sampling.

Crocodile Hunter Meets His Match

Ok, I know that I've been a YouTube freak lately, so I promise that I will lay off of it for a while in the future. However......you MUST watch this one. Words can't say enough.

The History of Drugs

I'm watching this show on the History Channel. I've decided that if I ever become a drug addict, I want to be addicted to Opium. It allows you to get high while you're laying on your side. It's the ultimate WOLdom. I think it might even be better than Perigoric.

I Don't Understand This Fucking Question

Tomorrow is Thursday

At least for me, it is. Starting on the REAL Thursday, I'll be off of work until January 2nd. Yes, I rock. So, for about 2 weeks, I'll be a total slug WOL. Call me, we'll do cowoffee. I take that back, we'll do happy hour.

This Looks Like Fun

Who wants to join me?

Classic Website

I could spend hours here.

Wedding Wars

So Chris and I are here watching Wedding Wars. In one word: awful. I can't believe that mags like the Advocate were advocating this movie. Yeah, it's a story about anti and pro gay marriage, but it is fucking ridiculous. So cheesy, campy, retarded and beyond exaggeration. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the gays. But, this movie is one that even I can't watch. That says something. I guess I'll get drunk and play online poker now.

Interesting Mini Series

Chris discovered a mini series on (brace yourselves) the Sci-Fi Channel. It's called The Lost Room. It's actually pretty good. Star characters include Nate (from Six Feet Under), Juliana Margulies, the one old evil neighbor lady from Desperate Housewives and a few other randoms that have been in other shows before. It's a pretty interesting storyline though - a lot of supernatural shit. Maybe the reason why I'm sort of into it is because I had 2 glasses of wine and 2 beers. Oh well, what else is there to do on a Tuesday night? Oh, Nate and Carol Hathaway just slept together. Mmmm, Nate. Anyway, it's worth checking out. At least I think so at the moment; ask me again tomorrow.

A Requested Survey

OK, my friend Eric asked if I would post a blog to take a poll. He wants to know good songs that are good to have on during sex. I personally think "Lick My Neck, My Back" by Khia is appropriate. That's just me. What do you all think?

OH, LOOK, There's a Bull Dyke.

Happiness is...

Not paying $800 for new brakes and rotors. Happiness is... going to pick up your car and finding out that you don't need to spend money that you have already written off. Happiness is... spending that saved money on me (or Chris) during the holiday season. Happiness is... ending this blog post immediately because it sucks and I've had way too much to drink.........................................................*snooze*....................................

Chris Says This is Good Luck

Not in my opinion. It means oil change, filter change, air filter change, new brakes, new rotors, tire rotation, tire alignment, an enema, and a detail. I agree with most of that, but, criminy.... nothing like a car manufacturer to spring it all at once. It's probably a good thing that I didn't take a picture of my speedometer while I was taking this picture. Notice, I was full of gas... in more ways than one. There are several of you out there that say I need a new car. In George Bush Sr's words... "Ain't gonn d'it."

You Don't See This Everyday

I didn't know they made hydraulics for planes like they do for hoopties.

Heaven

Chris made Christmas cookies this past weekend. I just had an iced sugar cookie and it's like having an orgasm in your mouth. This is going to be dangerous - I'm going to be 1100 pounds by the end of the week. I'm about 3 cookies away from a scooter as it is. On the flip side, Chris put the oven on self clean. The house reeks. I'm going to end up going to work smelling like a dead skunk tomorrow.

Shopping...... DONE

Yes, I went shopping on Friday and on Saturday and knocked all my shopping out of the way. All I have left is a secret santa that I can pick up very easily online. I even have all the presents wrapped (except for Chris's, since it hasn't arrived yet). Change of subject real fast: We're watching the movie Amadeus and it's friggin' hilarious - I haven't seen it since it first came out. OK, focus... so, anyway, I'm all done shopping. Ha ha on all you suckers that haven't even started yet. Oh yeah, keep in mind that I like expensive things. So, go on, get to it.