I'm Fetus in Fetu

I think I'm pregnant. I have a huge gut, I feel fat, and every once in a while, I think I feel something kicking in there. Then again, maybe I'm not fetus in fetu, because I wouldn't feel any movement. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, google it. I need to pick up the Mary-Kate Olsen habit. It worked wonders for her. Or, I could do what one of our not-to-be-named friends did and have lipo. Or according to him, I mean her, call it a vasectomy.