Good-bye W,G,J&K

I'm sure I was the only person who watched the final episode of Will & Grace tonight. Other than every gay person alive. It was, um, interesting. It's always awkward the way shows try wrapping up several seasons in one last episode. This one didn't stray from that phenomenon. However, there were some fucking hilarious one-liners. But, my favorite part of the episode by far, was seeing Beverly Leslie picked up by the wind on his balcony and flying away. Too much. I know I don't do it justice, but trust me. Anyway, the show had a good run. I still think the show should have been named "Jack & Karen". Bygones... Now I want to know what I'm supposed to do on Thursday nights at 8:00/9:00. Maybe I'll start blogging.

New Restaurant...at least for us

Chris and I went someplace new for dinner tonight. We went to Melt in Northside. It's a funky little place with some really yummy food. Nothing very extravagant, but delicious sandwiches with an eclectic crowd. Plus, it's in our neighborhood, so we are obliged to support the Northside businesses. Plus, all the signs in the shops there tell us to do so. Anyway, it was nice to keep our business local, while enjoying someplace new. I'll definitely be going back. Plus, they give a REALLY good handjob in the back room. Or was that Chris?

Too Tired To Blog

Because work is hard and it wears me out. Especially after drinking my face off this past weekend. Look for more fun and exciting readings in the very near future!

Pechota's Wedding

Yesterday was a blast. I got to see all sorts of good friends from college and Tony & Eileen's reception was great. Besides the constant flow of booze, food and appetizers, they arranged to have shuttles run between the hotel we stayed at and the reception place, so nobody had to drive. Here are more pictures of the debauchery. Before going to Cleveland, we went to my new nephew's baptism. He was so good during the whole affair, not crying at all. Then today, after waking our hung-over asses up, we had lunch with Chris's family to celebrate Mothers Day. Now we're back in the 'nati and trying to chill out after the activity-filled weekend. I think someone needs to rub my feet. OK, I'll give you all a chance so that no one misses out.

Shirley Q Liquor

Go fucking figure. I'll be out of town the ONE night that Shirley Q. Liquor comes to Cincy. And of ALL places, she/he is going to be at the Dock. What is this world coming to? Bygones. I'm just pissed that I'm going to be out of town when she's here. It's typical of my luck. That's why I don't gamble. So, all you party people in Cincinnati, I highly suggest checking her out tomorrow night. Pure hilarioty. If anyone goes, I expect a play-by-play re-enactment. And you all tell yo mama I axed how she durrin.

This Saturday

We'll be killing 4 birds with 1 stone. In one day, we'll be celebrating my nephew's baptism, my dad's birthday, Mother's Day, and a wedding. Not too shabby, huh? Needless to say, I had to buy a lot of cards the other day. Shit, that reminds me, I still have to get a wedding present. Gotta go...

The Annoyances of Summer are Already Here

I worked out in the yard for a bit yesterday after work. This morning, I was itchy on my arm and my legs. Son of a bitch if they weren't chigger bites. Yes, the joys of summer, including mosquitos, chiggers, bees, etc. are on their way. I think I'm going to have a large glass bubble installed over our house to remedy this problem. It could be known as the Cincy-dome or Bio-dome or possibly the Homo-dome. Regardless, I love summer, but not all the punishments that go with it. Too bad those little bastards don't die after biting like bees do after stinging. Note to self: Have God change that when I make it to heaven. HA. Like that will happen.

Time To Plan A Party

Chris went to Costco today and bought 6 new iron chairs. Wheeee! I'm amazed at how cheap they were too - $20 a piece (and they're heavy/nice). On Saturday, I stopped at the Furniture Fair Outlet and the cheapest outdoor furniture that was metal was $80 each. I love Costco. Can I stress that enough? I think I'm going to sell this house and move into Costco. Then I wouldn't have to go anywhere.

Who Wants To Clean Our House?

The first person who volunteers wins!

Yesterday - Landscape. Today - Manscape.

Yesterday, I did a bunch of yardwork that took up a good portion of the afternoon. Oh yeah, I also washed my car and the Cabrio. This morning, I did a total manscape. I cut my hair, trimmed the chest, and cut the nose hairs. I know you needed to know that information. Also today, I ran errands, sealed driveway cracks and put a tar seal over the driveway. Now I'm whooped. Meanwhile, Chris cleaned and painted the floor of the sleeping porch. Hannah, of course, had to go and fuck up our work. She stepped in the tar just after I put it down. Then, as I went up to shower and check out Chris's painting job, Hannah goes bolting onto the fresh paint. Chris yelled an expletive and I screamed at her. That meant that I had to carry the bitch down two flights of stairs to the basement so that she wouldn't trail paint throughout the house. Besides the minor setbacks, both the sleeping porch and the driveway are looking pretty good. I've attached pics for you all to see. Compliments are welcome. Criticisms aren't. Then again, we are perfect, so that's just impossible.

I'm Sure I'm a Hypocondriac

I think I have appendicitis. I have had a pain in my right side for the past 3-4 days or so. I've been looking up symptoms online and it sounds like I could be in trouble. Not only that, my little sister had it and hers actually burst. The doctors said that if she didn't come in until a couple hours later, she could have died. So, I'm thinking I should probably have my shit checked out. Keep your fingers crossed. Otherwise, this may be the last Matt's Ramblings post. And I know you couldn't go on if I can't.

Stupid Firefox

For the past 3 days, I have been trying to post to Blogger, but my Firefox has been fucking it all up. It kept stalling and wouldn't do anything. I don't know what the deal is, but I just figured out that I could post using IE. Oh well. I guess there isn't much very reliable in this world. Except me.........BIOOOOOTCHES.

I Can't Believe It's May

Time freakin' flies. It was just winter and now it's in the 70 degree range almost every day. I'm not complaining about that, but I'm just amazed at how quickly time flies. With summer coming, that means more and more weekend plans. I don't know that I'm ready for that yet. I just want to be a WOL on the weekends and relax around the house. (That could mean things like yard work but it could also mean nurse a hangover). Also, Party in the Park has started up already, which means my Wednesdays after work will be filled now. Those are an obligation, after all. What ever happened to the times when it seemed like summer would never get here or the next holiday seemed so far off? Oh yeah, that's called innocence. I am definitely screwed in that department.

After Kathy

Well, Friday night was a blast. Kathy Griffin, as expected, kept us roaring with laughter. Afterwards, we went to The Metro and then Talbott Street. The Metro was very fun, although Talbott Street was kind of dead. I guess it's not a "Friday Night" bar. Oh well, we still got plastered nonetheless. Saturday, Chris and I were WOLs and didn't do much at all. We went to BW-3's in Norwood and then headed to Hamburger Mary's for a while afterwards. Today, I did a bunch of nothing until I had to head to my sister's to watch my neice. After that, I went to Rookwood Commons and hit Banana, Old Navy, and DSW. Banana and Old Navy were busts, but I ened up getting a pair of sneaks and some cool flip flops. So, I'll be looking all glam, and whatnot, this summer. Now it's time to have a few end-of-the-weekend adult bevs. That's my exciting story. I know you're all on the edge of your seats with this post. Nyeeeeh.

D-List Star, A-List Comedian

I am SO looking forward to tomorrow night. We're going to see Kathy Griffin perform stand-up in Indy. If you haven't seen any of her material, you must be living under a rock (and a very boring one at that). Her show The D List is great, but her Allegedly DVD is fucking hilarious! I highly recommend buying it, watching it, or at least borrowing ours. My main mission is to become her best gay (fan). That loser on The D List that gave her a bag of candles is going to be bumped to #2. I'm going to prepare her a bag of Olay products - Regenerist, Total Effects, Quench - you name it. That way, she can wait a few weeks to look weeks younger. (You have to watch the show to get that reference). Regardless, it's going to be a fun, fun weekend. I know you're all jealous, but that's the way it's going to be. At least for the next 5 minutes.

Pot & Brotherhood

I wonder how true that title is. Brotherhood meaning actual nuclear brothers. I guess it depends on the family. For some reason, I don't think it's necessarily a realistic mix in the case that I'm thinking of. You never know though. I think it would would be funny as hell though if pot & brotherhood actually mixed in the situation. I would PAY to be a fly on the wall to hear that converastion. It's all fantasy though on my part, as I know the bros I'm writing about would (probably) never toke it up together. Then again, stranger things have happened. Don't listen to me, I'm just imgaining out-loud.

P.S. You (that I'm referring to) know who you are.
P.P.S. It's not me because I don't have a brother.
P.P.P.S. I didn't refer to Chris in this post.

Two Great New Songs

You need to check out these two songs that are currently playing on XM. They are, in one word, sick. Sick as in unbelievably awesome. The first is Faster Kill Pussycat by Paul Oakenfold featuring Brittany Murphy. The second one is dirrrty and I love it. It's called Bilingual by Jose Nunez featuring Taina. Oh yea, make sure you listen to the dirty mix. There is a cleaned up version and a dirty version. Go for dirty. 'Nuff said, biotches.

Good Times

No Comment.

Things That Suck

There were several things about today that sucked. I know how much you all love lists, so here goes:

• Going to work on Monday morning
• Doing laundry
• Nothing on TV
• My hunny being out of town
• Folding laundry
• Ironing
• Coming to the end of the internet
• Not being able to seal the driveway because it's going to rain tomorrow
• Crawling traffic on the way home from work (on Central Parkway) because of construction

So, there wasn't much good about this particular Monday. The one thing that didn't suck is that Hannah and I took a walk through the nature preserve at the end of our street. Beyond that, pure suckdom. How did your Monday suck?

Another Reason I Hate ABC

Tonight, there was a new episode of Deperate Housewives. At least it was listed as "new." It turned out to be an hour of recapping past episodes. I have absolutely fucking had it with ABC and their bullshit antics this year. They start off with GREAT shows at the beginning of seasons and then pull all sorts of crap mid-season. Per one of my earlier posts, they start skipping weeks and showing re-runs. Then, the new episodes start becoming fewer and fewer, without any sort of pattern at all. So, every week, it becomes a crap-shoot. Now, tonight's episode is listed as new, and it turns out to be an hour-long recap of past epidodes. WHAT THE FUCK??? I know that viewership is everything with the networks. Well, at this rate, ABC has pretty much lost a regular viewer. It's way beyond riduculous at this point.

I'm Spent

I had a very productive day today. Here's the list of completed activities:

1. Cut the grass
2. Went to Home Depot to buy Weed Eater wire
3. Weed-ate (Trimmed all the edging)
4. Cleaned all the weeds out of the front beds (which took about 2 hours)
5. Picked up dog shit in the yard
6. Cut a bunch of weeds/bushes out of the back yard
7. Used the blower to clean the driveway
8. Put topsoil down where the dumbass pizza driver ripped up the topsoil and grass seed that we put down last weekend
9. Put in new tree edging
10. Went back to Home Depot to buy hedge trimmers
11. Re-spread the mulch

So, now I'm having some beers. Imagine that. I'll be sleeping in tomorrow, so don't call until after 12. Or else I'll have to kill you.

Shiiiit, I muthafuckin' praise Jesus!

Check this crazy shit out.

ABC Sucks

I have a bone to pick with ABC. As mentioned in an earlier blog, I talked about how TV has been very slackerish in the recent months about showing new episodes of certain TV shows. Well, I have to point out that the biggest violator of this has been ABC. Fox is the second biggest violater of this, but I'll get to that at a later date. My prime examples are of two shows that Chris and I watch (or at least used to watch on a regular basis). The two in particular are Lost and Invasion. Lost, on average, has been absent every other week (if not more). Invasion hasn't been new since about last November. So, there was a new episode on tonight of Invasion, but it's a fucking joke. For not being on for that long, I don't even remember what happened the last time I watched. Hence, I'm seriously about ready to give up on them. It's a shame, because I think they could have a long, viable life on TV. But, not on ABC's schedule.

The '80s Are Funny, Yet a Little Ridiculous

So, we're watching the moving The Edge of Seventeen on LOGO. It brings me back to some fond memories, but, looking back on it all...how queer! Then again, this is a queer movie. But, it cracks me up looking back on some of the trends. None that I ever got into, but guys wearing eyeliner? The long, crazy hair-dos? The awful clothes? What were people thinking? It's actually pretty damn funny. I highly doubt any of THOSE trends will make their way back, but then again, I never thought bell-bottoms would ever circle back around. Just do one thing, if you ever see me wearing a hat like Michael Stipe wore, shoot me.

A Test for the Cincinnatians

And I don't have the answer. BUT, I've wondered this many times before...because sometimes I have a lot of time on my hands. I'm wondering what the longest road in the greater Cincinnati area is. To be clear, I'm not talking about Route 17 or Highway this and that. I'm talking specific street names. Off the top of my head, I can think of a few really long streets. Here they are: Galbraith Road, Kemper Road, Harrison Avenue, Montgomery Road. These aren't any short-bus streets. These are some seriously long roads. So, I have NO CLUE what the longest same-named road is in the 'Nati, but it's a good trivia question, right? What is your guess?

Crazy Weather

I know I'm not the only one who enjoys crazy weather. I'm watching it now as I type this. There is something about a good thunderstorm and lightning. It's intriguing, yet entertaining or soothing at the same time. I'm jealous that about 15 miles south, they got golf-ball size hail and we just got rain. Oh well. I'm convinced that we'll get our fair share of fun. That is, if you consider hail and tornado warnings as fun. I know, I'm not normal. No need to reiterate something I already know. I'm just glad that I don't live in a trailer park.

Disturbing Commercials

Have any of you seen any of the new VW commercials? They're kinda creepy. If any of you have been in a car accident, it's kind of a grim throwback. They go like this.... "Yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, CRASSSHHH!" Totally blindsided in the commercial, much like in real life. I disapprove. Much like I disapprove of VW's. They're the devil.

Out of the Loop

Sorry I've been remiss in posting. I've been feeling like shit. Since Tuesday, I've felt like crap and have been dragging myself into work. I'm still not feeling the greatest, but this is the first time I've had a chance to even look at my blog. I just took a shot of NyQuil, so I'm sure I'm not good for much longer. Anyway, I'll be more on my sarcastic/weird game in the next couple of days. In the meantime, practice the Sesame Street theme song. I'll be quizzing you all later.

Intervention

Have any of you watched this show on A&E? Oh my God, the people on there are trainwrecks! Tonight's episode was about a guy who was a chronic alcoholic (doing between 11 and 22 shots every day) and has been drinking for 14 years. There was also a girl on there that was a heroin addict who'd been shooting up for 5 years. The fucked up part, especially with the drug usage, is that they show these people getting drunk/high on camera. Chris and I always have to look away when they show someone shooting up, jamming a needle into their arm. There's one thing I know for sure - I'll NEVER do crystal meth or heroin. It's some truly messed up shit. I still can't get over how these people come to even trying it. I guess they're what Red Foreman (from That 70's Show) would call "dumbasses."

Thank God

I'm so happy to be home. I ended up driving 6 hours tonight from the NW suburbs of Chicago. We took one 10 minute stop for a gas refill and "dinner" (which turned out to be a bunch of snacks). The reason the damn trip took so long is because I-94 is apparently under some sort of major construction. So, the brainiac who was navigating, took us through a map-trip through Indiana. By the way, I FUCKING HATE Macs. I've now tried typing this 3 times and it's erased a certain portion each time. I digress back to my story. The next time I have to or want to go to Chi-town, my ass is flying. And I highly recommend you all doing the same. The trip was fucking miserable. And when I say it was miserable, it was because I was going 80 mph most of the time. You do the math. OK, I'm done bitching. I hope you all have a goot night. I have to cuddle with my honey now. Try not to be jealous.

P.S. The car we rented was a brand new Chrysler 300. Me being anti-American car, it was a sweet ride. Very smooth and powerful. Kind of like my Chris.

P.P.S. He SO owes me for that

Sorry, Folks, Park's Closed

Well, I'll be out of the loop for a few days. I have to go to Chicago for work and won't return until Friday night (probably late considering the weather we are looking foward to). In the meantime, I would suggest doing one of three things:

1. Start a garage sale pile
2. Count the number of times you say "the" each day
3. Reply in my comments section your last experience at a BINGO night you've been to.

I can't wait to hear what you all have to contribute. Really.

The Rents

So, my mom and dad are looking to move closer to their grandkids (and their daughter/son-in-law). I never thought my parents were as picky as they originally portrayed. When they first mentioned wanting to move, their only criteria were a two car garage, a ranch with a basement, and a minimum of 3 bedrooms. Well, the list has grown. First of all, my dad wanted to move to Northern Kentucky (because it's cheaper than living on the East side of Cincy where my sister lives). My mother absolutely did NOT want to move to Kentucky because she's a typical Cincinnatian, meaning "I'll never live in Kentucky." Well, I give my dad credit - he's not backing down as easily as we all thought he would. So, they've gone middle of the road and are checking out both Ohio and Kentucky. The problem thusfar has been that, as they have been looking at prospective houses, their list of requirements keep growing. As with most people, there is a certain neighborhood "type" that they want. Well, the areas with the types of housing that they want are kind of limited within a 5-15 minute drive to my sister's. Some of the additional criteria that has surfaced include a formal dining room (not just a great room), a decent sized back yard, and a good-sized kitchen. The biggest issue with all the houses they've looked at is that most of them don't have a formal dining room. My thoughts....boo hoo. They want to be within a certain distance to the grandkids, they're going to have to start realizing that they may not necessarily get everything they want in a house. Or (just a novel idea), wait a while, keep looking and maybe that dream house will come along. Well, things in the Loos family don't work that way. We'll continue hearing all about their woes until they move. And if they do end up settling, forget it. We'll never hear the end of it. I guess that's what happen when people start getting old.

P.S. My parents don't have a working computer to read this.
P.P.S. I love my parents and I'm not bitching about them. (Too much).

I Would Be SO Pissed

I'm not sure if this is staged or not, but I can't imagine it would be. I would have murdered the dumbass reporter if this was my creation. Check this video out.

Sunday Chores

Chris and I were busy beavers today. Let me rephrase that, because we really weren't busy twats today. We were busy with around-the-house chores. Chris washed and vacuumed both the Honda and the VW. Meanwhile, I started ripping up all the weeds and grass along the driveway and walk where we had flowers planted last year. What a fucking pain in the ass. Once that was all done, I planted Calla Lily bulbs and filled in the whole area with top soil. Now my back is sore. So, I'm having a beer. Oh yea, since it was such a nice day today (70 degrees), we opened all the windows in the house. It was so nice airing out this place and letting the sun pour in. So, that was our productive day. What did you buttwipes do today?

OMG

I'm watching a classic episode of Saturday Night Live and the guest star is Pee Wee Herman. Sick.

My New Obsession

Earlier today, Chris tried start the VW (a.k.a. Satan) Cabrio. It just wouldn't. The poor car has seen its better days. Meanwhile, I'm at work, checking out classified ads and I stumble upon the picture above. I want it. I've been keeping my eye out for classic convertibles and this is the car that I want. For those of you who don't know this particular model, it's an early 70's Triumph TR6. I personally think (although Chris would disagree) that this car is more appealing vs. the MGB. Then again, I wear the pants in this household. (Again, Chris would disagree). Any way you slice and dice it, we'll have a fun, older convertible this summer. Say goodbye to the Satan-mobile, or as VW would like to have it called, the Cabrio. Enter stage left.....the Triumph. At least at this present moment.

Side note: The actual car I'm trying to get is the first one (green). The blue one is just to show what the model looks like from behind. Wish me luck, hos.

Haha, Chris Has a Disease

I've never heard of it before, but my honey has Asperger (pronounced Ass-burger, in my opinion) Syndrome. Check it out. Pay particular attention to the parts where it talks about narrow, intense interests (especially obsessions with transportation, geography, computers and dinosaurs). OK, you can omit the dinosaurs, but insert 1960s English cars. So, so true. I didn't know that I lived with Rainman! Awww, honey, I still love you. If I happen to drop a box of matches in the morning and look to you for an immediate answer, just ignore me. It was most likely just a mistake on my part. I'm all about healing. I want you to be normal someday.

P.S. I know I'm going to pay for this one

Cars

So, Chris and I had a discussion earlier tonight about each others' car usage. We both drive our OWN cars. Period. At least that's been the track record. Unless on a roadtrip. Here's the greater question...how many of you all folk drive each others' cars? I'm all about sharing and not necessarily "claiming" a certain car. Chris defaults to his own car, as do I. But, part of the reason I did (or have) is because his car was new. Automatically, I assumed that he would want to drive it until the honeymoon was over. However, it will have been a year this coming week and he still religiously drives his car without even thinking of using mine. Chris, honey, I know that we've already discussed this, but I want to hear others' feedback. :-) Do you share cars in general or once in a while trade cars or is the first one free up for grabs? I love having the option to decide what car I want to take in the morning, but it's not currently the case. Long, long, story short, I want to know what all you party-people in cyberspace do when it comes to a dual-household along with dual cars. Nothing witty is coming to mind, so please just put in your comments. Or else I'll be forced to make my own conclusions. Please, don't force me to anything rash like that.

I'm Officially Gay

I admit, there were no signs before, but now it's obvious. How?!, you ask? Well, it's because I like a Kelly Clarkson song. I know, it's sad and none of you ever suspected (very much), but yes, I'm gay and I like a Kelly Clarkson song. Specifically, the version that is currently playing on BPM. It's the Chris Cox remix version of Walk Away. I hope I don't lose any of you over this devastating news, but it's who I am. A Kelly Clarkson song-liker. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful (or the fact that I am actually enjoying someone who got there start on American Idol).

Great New Show

I didn't hear about the show Campus Ladies until recently when our friends Jim & Rob told us about it. Fucking hilarious!! It kind of reminds me of the same type of humor as in Strangers With Candy, but on a collegiate level. Barri and Joan are the two main characters and are totally entertaining. Oh yea, you can catch this show on the Oxygen network. (Who'd a thunk?) It's definitely a keeper and I highly recommend checking it out. I know I'll be tuned in - especially when the next episode will cameo Paul Reubens. Who doesn't like a little PeeWee? Well, strike that, but you know what I mean. Here is a clip from the "My First Orgasm" episode. Enjoy.

Finally, Some New TV Shows

We got the Sunday paper for once, and I checked out the TV schedule for this week. Oh my God, new TV shows. What are the networks thinking? I'm so used to re-runs, I don't think I can handle a new show. Seriously, it has been totally ridiculous the way they have been so blase about running new episodes. It's like, oh, I don't feel like uploading any new episodes, so I'll just replay one that from a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, I'm used to sporadically getting new snippets of my favorite shows. Good thing is that there are some new snippets this week, starting with Desperate Housewives tonight. Don't miss it, bitches.

This is Pretty Funny

Thanks to Chris for sharing this. In his words, more or less, it's about time that someone made a real-life spoof. Check out the Simpsons.

I Hate Swiffering

I love the look of hardwood floors 100x more than carpet. However, having to keep them clean is a pain in the ass. We do have a Roomba, but when a house requires a thorough cleaning, the Roomba doesn't quite cut it. When the Swiffer first came out, I thought it was a Godsend. I don't think my opinion has changed much, but with a house the size of ours.....totally sucks. It took me about 2 hours just to clean the hardwood. The biggest pain is that we have dog hair. Dog hair floats/flies. So, it's like you have to Swiff the whole house twice. Good thing I had a beer in hand most of the time while doing so. Now the house is immaculate, but I'm half bombed. Moral of the story: House cleaning makes me drink.

Weather Prediction

SUCKS in Cincinnati. I love how they originally say we're going to get 5-12 inches. We got 2. I thought it would be awesome, but I wasn't hopeful. It happens here all the time. Oh, and we have 5 Doppler radars, state of the art, blah, blah, yadda. I certainly picked the wrong profession in life. I should have been a meteorologist - it's the only job you can have where being wrong has no consequences.

We Were Shopping FOOLS Today

I made a list of all the things that we were getting low on. It turned out to be quite a list. So, Chris and I went to Costco (my favorite store), and ended up spending over $200 on just household "stuff." Then we went to Bed Bath & Beyond because we had a 20% off coupon (gotta love that). We bought another new comforter for our new kick-ass bed because the first one we got was too heavy to have on year round. Now we have a lighter comforter for summer. It's so pretty...like me. Then we went to pick up dry cleaning and also the grocery store. After Chris cleaned out the refrigerator yesterday, the thing was practically barren. So, we stocked up on some vittles. Now, I'm tired. Our excursion today came with a price. We ended up blowing about $450. Anyone treating us to dinner tonight?

Disgusting Chore

I HATE having to clean the bathroom. So, I avoid doing it. But, my bathroom was getting pretty foul, so I decided to clean it today. Now I remember why I hate it so much. Again....it was just foul. But, now you could eat off of everything. I wouldn't recommend it, but you could. If Jack McFarland were at my house right now, I'd direct him to it, saying, "Look, something shiny!"

Tonight

Chris and I went to BW-3 and had dinner. Alone. There were two other couples that potentially were going to meet up. One of the couples called earlier asking to go out with us...only to get a call later to say they felt sick and wouldn't be going out. The other of the couples never text messaged me back. That particular person knew we were going to BW-3 and said that it sounded fun. Well, I shouldn't have expected any more. It's routine these days. We ended up coming home and watching the movie Sybil. Pretty fucked up! (The movie, that is). But then again, so was this evening.

Ink

Chris asked me a question earlier tonight and now it has me thinking. He asked if I was going to get another tattoo or not. My initial reaciton was no. But.......now I'm sort of wondering. The one I have, I can't see because it's on my back between my sholderblades. It would be nice to have one where I could actually see it. Hmm...... I DO have the number to Skincraft. I DO live right up the street from there. I don't know. I'll have to sleep on this one. What do you all think?

Strangers

I'm totally pumped because I recently found out the the Strangers With Candy movie is going to be released this summer. It was supposed to be released this past October, but stupid fucking Warner Brothers or whoever was decided not to. ANYWAY, it's slated to come to theaters this summer. Me cants wait. And if you don't agree, you all can just "Read between the lines, PPPUSSY!"

Whoa, that was close...

I thought I just sharted. Luckily, everything was dry.

Non-TV-Appearing Losers

Yes, that's us because of Chris and John. I totally passed every question. OK, now for reality-world. I for sure did the worst. We had to take a written test for the World Series of Pop Culture try-outs. The test was 50 questions and we had to answer them in 15 minutes. Oh, and they were fill-in-the-blank. Sounds easy, right? Uh, not so much. Of 25 teams of three people, only 5 teams made it to the next step. The kicker was that each had to take the test individually and all members of that team had meet some kind of hurdle. The VH1 people never said what that correct number was - they only read off the winning teams after the tests were graded. Oh well, bygones. Sorry John, but you should have known you were signing Corky up on your team. This must never get back to Josh. Long story short, Strangers Without Candy will not be seen on TV this year. However, watch out America, SW/OC will be back again next year (less one Cincymatt)!

Sawing Logs

I am so excited for tonight. NO, Chris isn't going to sex me up (or at least I don't think so). I'm excited for our new king-sized, double mattress pad bed to sleep in! It came today and, per the picture, the motherfucker is HUGE. Check it out...the bed itself is higher than the window sill. It's a behemoth oddity in our bedroom. Well, besides my cock. But anyway, the best part is still to come. When I got home from work/shopping/visiting the parental units, I laid down to test it out. Heaven. Pure bliss. I won't be going into work on time tomorrow because I need to savor the feeling of sleeping on a cloud. (Plus, my boss will be out in focus groups). I had to put Hannah to the test. I wasn't sure if she would be able to make it up that high. What a fool I was. She jumped up like it was blinking an eye. Oh well, I guess we have enough room now that she can sleep with us. No, homey don't play dat.

Name That Movie

"Sorry, folks, park's closed."

Another Road Trip

This weekend is the weekend Chris, John Wooley and I go to Chicago to go through the screenings for VH1's World Series of Pop Culture. Chris and I are driving up on Friday after work and have an all-day Saturday try-out. Well, hopefully we'll make it an all-day deal by advancing onto the finals. Wish us luck, bitch-hos. Sunday, Chris will be driving back to Cincinnati, but I'll be staying because I've decided to move away from hell-hole Cincinnati. Just kidding. I have a work meeting on Monday at one of our agencies. So, I'll be hanging out with my college friend Bish Sunday afternoon. Then, work on Monday and fly home Monday night. Oh yea, which one of you wants to watch Hannah for us?

Now This is Something to be PROUD of

Delta State University in Mississippi has a mascot called the Flying Okra. SWEET! I'd be so proud of calling myself a flying okra. For that matter, I'd be proud of calling myself a flying booger. Or better yet, a flying bloodfart. How do they get so creative down in the South?????

My New Favorite Word

Paregoric. My mom mentioned using this on my sisters and I as kids. I think it's funny that my mother was giving her children morphine.

What a Weekend!

This weekend was awesome. Friday, we didn't do much, but the rest of the time was great. Saturday, we got up and went to my neice's birthday party (which was O.K.), but immediately from there, we went to Belterra. The complex was pretty big and had a lot of amenities. Chris and I dumped our bags in the room and went directly to the casino. Within an hour and a half, I dropped $140 on fucking slots. Ugh. Then we went to dinner at Jeff Ruby's. DEEE-LISH. We both got 12 oz. filets, garlic mashed potatoes and a bottle of wine. So then, we went back up to the room so that I could change into some more comfortable clothes. Back to the casino. Chris sat at a Blackjack table the rest of the night and I wandered from slot machine to slot machine. I decided this pretty quickly: I HATE video slots. I don't trust them and they're just not the same as the real deal. I started losing more cash and getting pretty drunk. With my last $4.75 left in the machine before going to withdrawal more money, I hit. I couldn't tell you what the bonus was called, but I watched as it kept going, and going, and going. I started out with $300 and almost went totally bust, but I ended up winning $403. YIPPEEEE! With that, I called it a night and went up to the room and passed out.

Today, on the way home from Belterra, we stopped in The Original Mattress Factory in Florence and compared different beds. We ended up deciding to buy the most expensive king size in the place. I'm soooo happy. I have an adult bed now. That should be arriving on Thursday - it's going to seem like Thursday will never get here. THEN, when I got home, I got an email saying that my tax refund was deposited into my account. Glory be, there is a God. So, the bed is paid off, I got my tax refund, AND I paid off the last of my credit card balance. Life is good. For the time being.

Bombed

That's what I am right now. And I have to get up early tomorrow....no later than 10. Tomorrow, we're going to my sister's house to celebrate my niece's birthday. BTW, I scored at Target and got some very girly-girl gifts. Some of my friends were jealous. After the par-tay, we'll be heading to the state of Indiana to do a tad bit of gambling. Funny thing about tonight...it happened to come up about the cost of the room we'll be staying at. Chris was obviously surprised about how much it cost. My interpretation of his reaction was that he initially thought it was a somewhat cheap hotel room. Oh no. It's definitely costing me, but I'm sure I'll win it back. Plus much more. I'm glad that I can treat him to something that will be really fun and not have to worry about sticking to a $30 budget. He has been so generous to me in the past (ie. buying me a mountain bike), so I am very happy to be able to return that generosity.

I'm Fetus in Fetu

I think I'm pregnant. I have a huge gut, I feel fat, and every once in a while, I think I feel something kicking in there. Then again, maybe I'm not fetus in fetu, because I wouldn't feel any movement. If you're wondering what I'm talking about, google it. I need to pick up the Mary-Kate Olsen habit. It worked wonders for her. Or, I could do what one of our not-to-be-named friends did and have lipo. Or according to him, I mean her, call it a vasectomy.

What To Do Tomorrow

It's supposed to be 60 degrees and party cloudy tomorrow. I hear hooky calling. Plus, my boss will be in an almost all-day meeting. Let me think, things I could do....

1. Go to a movie
2. Go to a bar
3. Buy another dog
4. Buy a new car
5. Knock down a wall in our house
6. Download songs without paying for them
7. Stare in Chris's window at work and jeer
8. Trim body hair
9. Rollerblade down Mt. Adams

I guess I'll have to sleep on it. Unfortunately, I know I'll pussy out and end up working anyway. So, forget what I just wrote. Seriously, jab a sharp object into your head so that it's erased from your memory. Gracias.

The Result...

The car show was, at best, mediocre. Chris and Brian forewarned us last night, and they were right. There weren't a lot of "wows" as far as new cars go. I guess it's a good thing, otherwise we might have gone right to a dealer and drunk-bought a new car. There were a few that are worth mentioning: We were intriuged by some of the BFTs. (Big Fucking Trucks). I always wondered why some pickup trucks were running $40K plus. Now I understand. They are REALLY big and have a lot of the same amenities that some luxury cars offer. Another worth mentioning was the Toyota FJ. It's the concept-gone-production of the first Toyota Land Cruiser. You'll see a lot of them in 1970s movies when people are on African Safari type trips. Very cool, very retro, but Chris's Element has a lot more room. Next is the Infiniti G35 Coupe. Very fucking hot, very cool. No new news there, but Chris and I would both love to own one. Lastly, and most dearly to my heart, the IS. I love the new Lexus IS 350 & 250 AWD. It's so much more Lexus than my car, but I guess as you get older, your tastes mature as well. I still LOVE my car and I have no plans on selling it any time soon. But, this particular car has come a long way. There are SO many more bells and whistles than mine has. But, all those rings and dings come at a price. If I wanted to buy a new IS, I'd be spending about $10-$15 more than I spent on my car. Oh well, we can all pipe-dream, right? All in all, the car show was something to do on a Sunday afternoon. And they served beer. What else would one ask for? Maybe some percocet or vallium, but that only happens in Amsterdam. Hmmm....I all of a sudden feel like taking a trip.

Off To The Show

The car show is in town this weekend and we're going to check it out. I suggested taking the bus down so that we don't have to leave one of our cars when we come back with a new one. I mean, come on, we're instant-gratification gay men. It's only natural.

Off To The Show

The car show is in town this weekend and we're going to check it out. I suggested taking the bus down so that we don't have to leave one of our cars when we come back with a new one. I mean, come on, we're instant-gratification gay men. It's only natural.

Sam's

OK, I am not a big fan of Sam's Club. I LOVE Costco and wish there were one closer to our house - the only ones around are in Mason and Tri-County. Anyway, if you get a chance, go to Sam's this weekend and check out my work. There will be demos (women giving samples, offering advice, etc) for our Olay products. Plus, there will be 4 pallets of our products. Yes, I was involved in making this happen. I know, I rock. BTW, we didn't get the usual blue-hairs to demo for us - we made sure there were decent looking chicks doing the talking. Sick, I was just re-reading what I wrote and I sound like the biggest queen on earth. Wait, no, that would be the Little Girl. "I'm not a ma'am, I'm a man!"

Alright, Already

So, I got an email from someone I won't reveal *cough, DougBillSusan, cough* yelling at me for not revealing what I got Chris for his birthday. Nosey. If you must know, I ended up giving him an all-expenses paid trip to Belterra Resort & Casino in Indiana on March 4th. Well, leave on Saturday, gamble, eat, gamble, drink, gamble, drink, have sex, gamble & drink. Then we'll pass out and possibly wake up to have mimosa's so that we are in the mood to gamble again. I also gave him $100 to get started with. So, wish us luck, bitches, and maybe we'll treat you to an ice cream cone after we win $1,000,000.

Is it Friday Yet?

I was off work today and am dreading having to go back tomorrow. I refer to this as having the MNDs, or Monday Night Depression. Short weeks always seem longer to me, maybe because I have to get the same amount of work done in a shorter period of time. Oh well, at least I have something to look forward to on Wednesday - Chris's birthday! If you haven't already, email Chris and wish him a happy 30th birthday. It would make his day (since he's older than that). On Wednesday, I'll reveal what I got Chris for his birthday. I hope he likes it, but I'm not really worried that he won't. OK, time for bed. Loos, out.

Inspired

By Roger Hazard from the show Sell This House (and the fact that we're getting a nice income tax refund). We've decided on getting a new bed. No more bowing in the middle and Chris stealing my space. We're getting a king size bed! I'm very excited because now I will have plenty of room to relax and sleep without Chris's dagger toenails cutting me anymore.

I Like Mike

Tonight, we met up with Lena, Rob, Suz, and Mike. Mike is Suzanne's boyfriend. This was the first time I really got to talk to him and I approve him for her. Another reason I like him a lot is because we own the same car. Ha! Great minds think alike.

Side note: Hannah is the piece of shit waste of life right now. She's taking up 2/3 of the couch. I have to move so that she's comfortable. And I thought Chris was difficult. Just kidding Chris.....Love ya, mean it.

Chris is Snoring

Ugh, I have to crawl into bed with a snorer. Good thing I have earplugs in my nightstand to drown that shit out. I know what I can get Chris for his b-day now... some anti-snore nose strips. Thank God, I have been fretting over what to get hu for hu birthday. Great ideas sometimes come when you're drunk.

By the way, my shit has been like water today. Not fun.

Name That Movie

"Why you always callin' me yo bitch or yo ho or yo hootchie?"

"Cause that's what you are, bitch."

I'm a Bad Daddy

February 6th was Hannah's birthday and I totally forgot. Ugh, I suck and now I know why she has been all needy lately. Although, when Jung and her boyfriend Jeff watched Hannah, she got to split a cheap steak with Jeff's dog, Bishop. Still, I can't believe I forgot to get her a plush squeeker toy. First person in line, I'm ready for my spanking.

Not a Lot to Say

So, I'm back in dready Cincinnati after exotic, warm Cancun. I don't have much very exciting to say, other than I've been pretty much addicted to the Olympics. Hannah has been driving us friggin' insane - she's been so needy lately. That just reassures that I'll NEVER have kids. Maybe I'll go throw in a porn. That will pass 5 minutes. Or maybe I'll think of a new descriptor to refer to all you BITCHES!!

And One Last Post

Look. Gays. They're funny.

Introducing...

The newest member of the Sharp household, Evan Matthew Sharp. That's my newest nephew and he was born this past Friday at 11:00 p.m. Chris and I went over to see him today and I'm happy to report everyone is healthy and thankful. Here are a few more pictures of via the stork.

Back From Heaven

I can't believe we just got back from Cancun in 80 degree weather and we're now in snowy Ohio. Boo hoo squish squish. The trip we took was sick. Everything was free, everything was beautiful (except some of the fellow vacationers), and we had a stellar time. Where do I begin???? When we got to the resort, we checked in and were originally supposed to stay in one section of the place. Turns out, Chris's mom requested adjoining rooms so that they could be next door to the grandkids. Well, the desk guy had to upgrade us (for free) into the nicest section of rooms. They were bigger and were more or less suite areas vs. just one room. In addition, we had a nice balcony with a hammock and a big bathroom with a shower and jacuzzi tub.

Ok, enough of the boring stuff. Then comes the booze. I think there was only one day where I waited to have my first drink until 1:00. Most of the time it was before then. The best part: it's free. Pretty much any kind of drink you wanted - free. So was all the food. There were buffet type restaurants and also sit-down themed restaurants. The sit-down restaurants we hit were a steakhouse, italian, gourmet and my favorite of all, Japanese. Beyond that, there were several different bars, a couple of discos, and last but not least, the beach. The beach was awesome. That's were we spent a lot of our time. The water was warm, the bar was VERY close and the waves were great for body-surfing. One day, Chris, Josh and John rented jet skis out there and it was pretty funny to watch.

There was one day when the weather was cloudy, so we went to a big shopping area called Playa del Carmen. It was very interesting to see all the different vendors and their various selling techniques. We bought a few things there, but nothing big. A different day, Chris and I were thinking of swimming with dolphins, but never got around to it. I think it was because Chris was hung over from the night before. Or was that me?

At night, there were various shows that you could see, including a kids show which proved to be invaluable to John & Laura with their daughters, Megan and Mira. Chris and I saw a show one night where a bunch of newlyweds were competing for, well, I don't know what. But, it was pretty damn funny. It was a cross between the newlywed game and fear factor. Good times.

Alas, it's all over now and my savage tan is going to be slowly fading away. But, I will say it's well worth the experience. Especially when the experience is free. Thanks Big John & Momma Carol! Here are more pictures of our trip. One last word...if you ever do make it to Cancun or the surrounding area, be ready for a total clusterfuck at the airport. Also, be prepared for arguments or annoyances from the people you've traveled with. Apparently, Chris was "snotty" to his mom. And his mom was bossy and slow. Alledgedly.

Last Post for a While

I know that half the world lives on every word I write on here, so I feel it's my duty to provide you with some activities during my vacation hiatus. Here are 10 suggestions to help pass the time:

1. Masturbate (it will pass 5 minutes each day)
2. Rent every Star Wars movie ever made and make it a marathon
3. Start an ant farm
4. Memorize all 50 states and their respective capitals (if you don't already know them)
5. Join your local 4H club
6. Toilet paper your neighbors' house that live 4 doors down (in either direction)
7. Try your hand at writing a computer virus
8. Make up your own hyperbole
9. Look in the telephone directory and call every "Johnson" that is listed. Talk to them. Get to know them.
10. Create a life-size diorama and pretend YOU are on vacation

Have fun next week, bitches. I'll be drunk while you're at work!

Are You Kidding Me???

We got a call tonight from our, well, Chris's, brother-in-law saying that we were selected to go to Chicago for a kind of pre-screening for the World Series of Pop Culture tournament that I blogged about last night. Here's the deal: we have to take a written test and if we pass that, we get interviewed by the producers/crew of this show. If we then pass, there is a pre-competition we have to participate in that would determine whether or not we get to go to New York. CRAZY SHIT! I'm still befuddled that we sent our responses in yesterday and John Wooley got an email the next day to say that we are being considered. Since then (a whole 2 hours later), we've already agreed to take the trip to Chicago. Wish us luck, pussies. We may be the next Cincinnati celebrities. Move over Nick Lachey.....

The World Series of Pop Culture

VH1 is having a contest called The World Series of Pop Culture. John Wooley, my brother-in-not-so-law, entered himself, Chris and I to audition for this competition. The whole premise behind it is to "find 16 three-person teams who think they’ve got what it takes to compete in the most intense pop culture trivia tournament to date." The winners get $100,000. The pain in the ass part was having to fill out an application and it asks all sorts of questions about why I think I would be a good candidate. I tried not to be TOO much of a smart-ass, but I definitely made it interesting reading for them. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to eliminate us with them, but rather increase our chances of getting noticed. So, if we get chosen to compete, you'll hear it here first. It would also mean going to New York city the weekend of April 28th-30th. Sweeeeeeeet. In the pop culture words of Mork, "Nanew, nanew." (bitches)!

I'm Not (That Much of) a Geek

But....I've been watching this show on The Science Channel called "How It's Made". It's really pretty interesting. They show, well, how things are made. For example, combination locks, doors, recreation vehicles and newspapers. I know it sounds boring as shit, but it's kind of cool seeing all that is involved in making what would seem like very simple things. So, shut up, I say. I'm not a loser....you don't know me.

Someone's a Fatty

I won't say who, because I know it would hurt their feelings. I just have to say that this someone used to weigh 72 lbs. and now they weigh 78 lbs. No, sillies, it's not me, although I do have a slim, toned figure. I'll just have to keep you guessing as to who it is.

Will & Grace Correction

Remember the post I put up last week about "Mickey" from The Comeback being on W&G? Well, it's actually tonight. I guess since they had a live episode two weeks ago, it pushed this episode back. So, check out the major queen Robert Michael Morris on W&G tonight. Remember, he was one of my dad's friends in high school, college and the seminary. Go figure.

Scrubs

What a brilliant show. I'm so glad they've been playing two in a row on Tuesday nights. We just got done watching two of them back to back tonight and, literally, we laughed almost the entire time. I highly recommend checking this shit out. Whomever the writers are must have dropped a lot of acid in their younger years (similar to Matt Groening), and I'm very glad that they did. It fills the void of something to watch on a Tuesday night. I think you'll all like watching Honey Bear and Chocolate Bear playing the fucked up characters they portray.

I'm a WOL

For those of you who don't know what I mean, it refers to Waste Of Life. Between it being Monday and having to start a new week of work, I don't feel like doing SHIT tonight. I'm going to eat, watch TV and maybe a movie, and go to bed. Wait, I forgot to mention that I'll probably eat some ice cream too. It's probably not the best use of my time considering we leave for Cancun in two weeks, but fuck it. I'm happy in my woldom.

I Just Don't Get It

Some of my friends have some issues going on. There are those that have been together for a long time and others that haven't been together very long at all. Regardless, relationships have changed in all cases. I'm not just talking about the partners, but also between my friends and myself. I value my friendships (almost more than my own family). It sucks when I see those friendships drifting apart.

Ouch

UC just got SPANKED by Xavier. Boo Hoo Squish Squish.

73-71 in OT.

WOW, What a Game

We're watching the Cross-town Shoot-out between UC and Xavier. It just went into overtime. What an awesome game so far! I'm torn as to who to root for. I guess I'll pick Xavier since I'm getting my MBA there. Sorry Jim & Rob, I know I'll pay for it later.

Crazy Ride Home

About 3 times a week, I take the bus to and from work to save on gas & parking. Today, on the way home from work, I felt like I was on the bus from the movie Speed. Once on I-75, traffic all of a sudden started to crawl. So, our bus driver took it upon herself to drive along the shoulder, rumble strips, grass, and all to get around stopped traffic. Then, she forced her way back into the mess. Then, she got over two lanes, speeding up to a pretty good clip to get around the stopped traffic. Turns out, there was a 3-car wreck in one of the middle lanes. Well, she got around that, but kept on flying down the highway, even once she merged onto I-74. There were several of us thinking, "what the hell!" Once off the highway, all seemed pretty normal until one of the stops in Northside where the bus stalled. It was one of the most bizarre bus rides I've ever been on. The kicker was when the chick started driving on the shoulder. I admire her spunk and creativity, but it REALLY would have sucked if she got pulled over and made the trip even longer. So, if you feel like a bizarre public transportation experience, get on the 15x from downtown. It will keep you awake.

Watch Will & Grace This Thursday

Mickey, from The Comeback on HBO, will be a guest star on Will & Grace this Thursday. For those of you who don't know, he was in the seminary with my dad and I think they went to Purcell High School together. Mike Morris has been to Elmer Davis Lake (my parents' lakehouse) and some of my friends have gotten a kick out of this. FYI, he's gay in real life (although he claims he's bi), as if you didn't figure that already. Regardless, check out W&G this Thursday and check him out in one of the last shows they'll be doing. Here's a link to Mike's website.

Decide for Yourself

Today, we had a very interesting conversation about these yummy treats. I grew up knowing them as King Dons, although I like knowing them better as Ding Dongs. You do the math.

P.S. Thanks Rob & Jim for the website info.

This Sunday

We're visiting Eric again. If there's anything you want us to relay, let me know. He'll be back in the 'nati in 5 months. Start making your looped construction paper chain so that you can tear one off each day. All I can say is that there will be a big party the day he's back!

The Audacity

that some people have. I don't get it. 'nuff said.

I'm So Pretty

I gave myself a facial. (No thanks to Chris). By the way, this shit is awesome. Go buy Olay Daily Facials clay mask. It's da bomb.

Cancun Trip

We are going on an all-inclusive trip to Cancun next month. It's called the Iberostar Paraiso Lindo. Chris's parents are taking all of their children as well as significant others and are paying for the whole trip (including airfare). I can't wait! I'll send all you pussies a postcard when we're there.

Being John Malcovich

I'm watching this movie right now and I forgot how weird it is. Cameron Diaz plays John Kuzak's wife in the flick and she's bisexual. She wants to hook up with John's business partner, but the business partner, Maxine, only wants to 'be' with her when she's inside John Malcovich. I know it sounds pretty fucked up, and it is really fucked up. I suggest watching the movie to understand. I just want to know what drugs the writer was on when he/she thought up this story. I might have to try some.

Math

This: Plus This:

Equals This:

Yummy! Thanks Chris!

I'm Sick

Yet, I've decided to drink anyway. There is something about it that comforts me. I'm sure I'll pay tomorrow, but it's fucking worth it. I'm feeling miserable now, so why not indulge since I'll feel like shit tomorrow anyway?

It's About Time

The new furniture arrived tonight after a lot of b.s. per my earlier posts. My/our rating: Fantastic. The funny thing about it is that when we were in the showroom, I was at first kind of wishy-washy about the particular pieces. Turns out, they match our woodwork like we custom ordered them. Score! They even sit better than the models we test drove in the showroom, so I'm happy to report that we're more than pleased. No cognitive dissonance here. Whoever wants to come over and sit your buns on our pieces are more than welcum.

Reality Check

Going back to work sucks. Short weeks seem longer than regular weeks too. Why should we have to work? We're American.

Stupid Fucking Sofa Express

They fucked up. We were told we'd be getting our couch delivered today. So, Chris got up early this morning to call for a time window when they'd be delivering. When he talked to the first person, she said that it was not even listed as being delivered. He then asked for a supervisor. She proceeded to find the order, but our couch and chair were not on the delivery trucks. They left earlier and weren't coming back at all. So, he bitched, saying that it's bullshit we'll have to take a day or half a day off of work so that we could be there for the delivery. She apologized, etc, etc, but that still didn't help things out. So, she ended up getting a delivery date of Wednesday between 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. Great. She did waive the $70 delivery fee, but it still doesn't help, considering we rearranged our living room to accomodate the new furniture. Word of warning - Take a grain of salt with everything Sofa Express tells you if you end up buying there. My advice - Don't buy there.

Happy New Year Chumps!

Last night we brought in the new year with a few close friends. It was a nice time and a perfect amount of people to have the time to have actual conversations with people. Here are more pictures from last night. And, dammit, Rob beat everyone in Texas Hold 'em. I was a close second, but got screwed on the river at the end. That's ok, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to buy a couple of rounds the next time we go out.