Lots & Lots of Pictures 'n Shit

Well, my camera worked overtime this weekend. Between our favorite bartender's going away, my nephew's birthday and the infamous Luau, there are hours of viewing pleasure. Here are the different galleries, if you so desire.

Brenda's shindig

Andrew's 7th birthday

Steve & Rick's Luau

Thanks for playing and come back again soon. Don't forget to have your pets spayed or neutered.

More P-town Pics

So, these are some of the pics that were on my phone. I especially like the one of SP with his tranny trick.

What the Hull...

Why the fuck is it 100 degrees here and going to be 102 tomorrow, when places like Findlay, OH are flooding? Christ on a cross. I'm going back to Provincetown, betches. Oh, and we get a break on Saturday. It's only going to be 91. I'm sick and tired of this heat - it's giving me beef stew in my drawers.

Public Service Announcement

OK, so I stole this picture from Chris's website, but I laughed my ass off.

Provincetown 2007

This year's P-Town trip was fucking fabulous! We did some things that we haven't in the past (ie: the circuit cruise) and met more fun, cool people. I was just happy that the Immodium kicked in and didn't cause any of my organs to fall out. Here are some pictures to view. Here are more from Chris's collection. The trip home, however, was another story. I don't have the energy to give the whole story, but let's just say that there were some very high seas, a lot of puking, and I've decided to never fly Delta again. Overall, we had another great year in Provincetown. I highly recommend it. Oh yea, here are a couple of videos on Youtube. P-Town Video #1

P-Town Video #2

P-Town Video #3

Enjoy.

Signing Off For a Week

Well, hookers, I'm offline after tonight for a while. It's P-Town Carnival 2007, and it couldn't come quick enough. Have fun in the heat, bitches. We'll be relaxing in 70 degree weather, drinking by the beach and shopping our asses off. Oh yeah, expect a drunk dial from me, because it WILL happen. Smell ya later.

Yesssss, More Kelly

I Wish I Was This Lucky Person

The story behind this (although it's been debated about being a hoax) is that a guy bought a house with a "farm building" on the property. Apparently, the doors were welded shut, so previous owners never bothered trying opening them. Well, regardless of the authenticity of the story, whoever found this is G D lucky. Check it out here.

Gettin' the Fuck out of Dodge

I'm so ready for vacation to get here. We leave on Friday to go to Provincetown, MA for a week. This 90-100 degree heat is getting very old and I am looking forward to 75-80 degree weather. Plus, it's Carnival week next week (think of a gay Mardi Gras). So, while all you tards are sizzling in the heat, I'll be drinking on the beach. Don't be jealous, it makes you look old.

Elmer Davis Lake 2007

So, we once again had a great time at my parents' lakehouse this weekend. Not only was it the infamous 127 Yard Sale, but it was the yearly get-together in Owenton, KY. The stifling heat, the freak monsoon rainstorm on the lake, and the many spots of random dog shit didn't stop us from having fun. Here are some pictures that I took. And here are pictures that Chris took. I just hope that all the Kentucky-ites made all the money they were hoping for. After all, a new trampoline doesn't come cheap.

This better fucking work

I hate Cincinnati Bell

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So, I Sorta Kick Ass

At least in my mind. I bought a wireless print server and connected it correctly. It's awesome because I can hit print anywhere in the house and print shit. Even though it's only about 15 steps away from where I usually am, I can now be a WOL and print from wherever my ass is parked. I love it. Plus, Chris can print from either of his computers too. Now, if I feel like printing a kick-ass photo, I won't have to trek upstairs. I'm all about sloth. It's so much easier. BTW, I bought a LinkSys. OK, that's as computer geeked I get. Swear to God. Love ya, mean it.

What a Precious Picture!

I totally forgot that Stevie's twin brothers came to the Luau this past year. Isn't it a great picture of them with Rob and Jim?

Great Cyndi Video

This is a classic late 90's/early 00's of Cyndi Lauper's Ballad of Cleo and Joe. I love that she's about 15 months pregnant, wearing a dress that makes her belly look like a disco ball. Oh yeah, it's a fun song too. I've been searching all over Youtube for a video around the same era, but without success. The video is of a dance song and it is basically a dance-off between four different people (assuming the band members). But, it looks like a video game. Once of the "dancers" is a woman with a big afro. Can anyone identify that song? Please?!?!? Here's the Cyndi video.

OMG, More Kelly, Betches

Click here to listen. Don't be a shetbag.

Trust Me

I WILL own one of these. It's just a matter of time. Wait and see, you rubes.

WOOT!

There is a Woot-off today! I loves me a Woot-off. Check out the Woot site and you'll understand. Usually, they only have one thing a day for sale, and when it's gone, it's gone. But, once a month, they have what is called a Woot-off where they get rid of a bunch of things they had during the month. I still haven't been able to score a bag of crap. Those go so quickly. Anyway, check it out: I'm sure you'll check it daily like I do from here on out.

Go To Target Before They Run Out

We got the second last set of these comfy, big-ass chairs. Hurry up, bitches, the 50% off sale is almost over. Oh, and don't try and steal them, we bought a pit bull to protect the house. Hannah is jealous.

Costco: Great Deals and Free Entertainment

My Favorite Kathy Bit To Date

Just a Question

Rob, are you happy now that I've updated my blog?

Yea for Don and Gail

They FINALLY bought a house. I would have put a link to the listing, but since they closed already, the website took it down. Meanwhile, their house on Wilke is still for sale. Feel free to direct any interested parties here! Chris and I were lucky enough to get to move them (minus very large furniture) last weekend. It was quite the ridiculous weekend (meaning my father), but we managed to move a lot of their shit. Anyway, they have a really nice new house. Once I get time, I'll take some pictures and post them. The best part is that we live 5 minutes further than their old house. Yes, I'm going straight to hell.

SIMPSONS: The Movie

OK, I have to admit, I'm really looking forward to seeing the Simpsons movie. But, before you all go apeshit over it like me, you need to take the USA survey. There are 13 or so cities vying for the rights. Here is the link to vote. Personally, I voted for Springfield, Ohio, well, just because. But, I think the best one goes to Tennessee. Hilarious. Check it out for yourselves and submit your vote. For Ohio, that is.

Douchebag

Just in case you were wondering...

Terms such as shower pocket, douchebag, d-bag, DB, doucherama, doucher, douche turd, douchington, or simply douche are considered pejorative terms in Australia, the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada and New Zealand. The slang usage of the term dates back to the 1960s.^[4] Initially, it was used to insult a woman, originating as an insult derived from lesbian activities.

The Naked News

OK, so they just did a story on the Naked News on one of those entertainment shows. Access Hollywood or something. The idea is not a new one - it's been around for quite a while. But, why don't they offer men stripping also? I mean, c'mon, they are limited themselves to 50% of an untapped market! I'd drop Channel 5 news in a second if we could have someone like Reichen stripping and reporting the news.

And Another Great Scene

Jack & Cher

This has to be one of the best Will & Grace scenes ever.

Disgusting!

They're Almost Ready

But, they will be complete for this weekend. Guaranteed. So, get your throwing arm ready, losers. Stanford Avenue is going to be a smackdown.

Another 70s Classic

One of the best shows ever

Shut the Fuck UP

Look here, gays...especially ones that listen to BPM on XM radio. DJ Joe Bermudez is going to be spinning at Cincinnati Pride this weekend! Here is proof, fools. I can't believe there is actually going to be someone that can mix some good music coming to the 'Nati. Get prepared, all. Oh yea, and don't forget that Chris and I will be hosting pre and post Pride on Stanford Drive. Get your drinking shoes on boys, it's going to be a long, fun day. (And all new cornhole sets to use)

Memories.... la la la la la la la.........

My old website

My Favorite Scrubs Character

Do I Have Something on my Face?

Cornhole Update

Like you really care...but today was more or less take 2 steps back and 1 step forward. I ripped off the old tops (with the incorrect hole size), with Chris's help. Thanks honey. I then went to Homo Depot and bought new 24"x48" pieces of plywood, along with more sandpaper and hardware to attach the legs. I got home and cut the CORRECT size holes and attached the tops. Then I called it quits. I'll save sanding for another day, since it's a bitch and a half. Then I can paint and put on the finishing touches. So, send me your advanced reservations for play. I'll see if I can squeeze you in.

Son of a Bitch

So, I'm about 3/4 of the way done building my cornhole set and I realize that I cut the holes too big. Fuck!! The website I was working from was very confusing, and after reading other sites, I realized I screwed up. So, that means I have to re-do about 1/2 of the work I've already done. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interview

Kathy Griffin: Gwenyth, so how long have you two been togther?
Gwenyth Paltrow: What do you mean????

Kathy Griffin: Stella, so how long have you two been together?
Stella McCartney: Two yea-as.

Pictures From Camping

Are here. It was a lot of fun, even though it was like a muddy mosh pit on Friday night. The rest of the weekend was fucking gorgeous. We need to do it more often, so let us know when you bitches want to go.

A Shameless Plug

Yes, I need to be paid. So, forward this onto everyone you know. Oh yea, it might save your life.

My Back is Achy

I finished putting down mulch in front of our house today after work. It took a few hours, but our house fucking rocks. Chris also bought some gi-normous hanging plants and installed a slow drip irrigation system so that we don't have to bother with them much. So, next time you're driving down Stanford Avenue, just look for the jungle of flowers...that would be our house. Pictures to come soon. I'm just too lazy to take any now. What did you WOLs do tonight?

Watch and Enjoy

This is Rob & Jim's favorite song.

Pegleg Update

Hannah is not Pegleg anymore, but rather, a lamp. The good news is that her leg is healing up very nicely. However, she does not appreciate her new decoration and keeps bumping into everything. The good thing is that she only has to wear it until Thursday. But, I have a feeling she isn't going to forget this for a long time. And she'll make us pay!

Hmm, and it's not located too far away....

Looky.

See Ya Suckers

We'll be camping here this weekend. A weekend getaway is way overdue. But, don't try breaking into our house while we're gone, bitches, because our ferocious watchdog will bite your face off. She's staying at home with a sitter. We'll be thinking of you all. Not really.

We're Going Camping This Weekend

And what better way to go than to go in this?? Do you like?? Chris is going to kill me.

Shoes. Betch.

New Fun Thingys

So, today after work, I went to Sam's and Circuit City to get some much needed (wanted) purchases. One was a memory upgrade for my computer (and it runs shitloads faster). The other is a new digital camera to replace the one that died on New Years Eve. So, who else am I going to post a picture of...obviously it is of Little Bunny!

Isn't it pretty?

Look at our beautiful yard. (Especially the fantastic fucking flowers). Oh, and you can't help noticing the 1970 Triumph TR6 in the foreground. Yes, I am very happy with my home/life/husband. Aren't you jealous? If not, you are just a jealous little bitch. Don't hate me because my life and I are beautiful.

The Pegleg

Well, the little girl made it through her surgery pretty well. Although, she is going to be walking like a pirate for the next two weeks. She has to wear a splint under the wrap she has on her foot. We decided to go ahead with the chemo starting after the two weeks, since it should have minimal (if any) side effects. Keep her in your thoughts....I mean how can you say no to a picture like this???

I Have To Admit

I'm really enjoying my new laptop. I guess my old computer dying was a blessing in disguise. The fact that I can blog out on our front porch in beautiful weather is really fucking cool. AND, I can watch porn anywhere in the house now! So, get ready for more posts from me, bitches. I'm on a computer-geek rampage.

Yes, I'm Back

The headline refers to me with a new computer. Yes, I went out today and got some new electronic duds. And I love it (so far). I don't want to jinx myself, of course. I'll tell you all about the fiasco that I went through during my shopping adventure in a later post. No, I, all of a sudden, had quite a bit of a flashback while listening to some older music on my (very new) laptop. It brings me back to 1999 or 1998...something like that. I was reminiscing in my head about the times me and Momma would drink and hang out at his pool. It was literally every Saturday for weeks on end. We would then take disco naps so that we could then meet up later at the Dock for some dancing, drinking, and man-hunting. Ahhh, and I had my Jeep at the time. Such fond memories. I especially remember one weekend when Momma (and his best friend Rusty) went up to BP to get more beer. I had no idea if either of them could drive stick, but when I offered the keys to my Jeep, they where bitch-slapping each other over who got to drive it. It's hard to believe that it's now 9 years later and those memories seem like yesterday. It's also crazy to think that I still look the same, but Momma looks 9 years older. Oh, yes I did.

Bad Things Come in 3's

Today fucking sucked. Actually, it was fine until I got home. That's when I discovered that my computer died. I was pretty pissed, but then I thought maybe it was just a switch or something. Then, I took Hannah to the vet to take her stitches out. That's when the doctor told me that the lump he removed was cancerous. My heart sunk. So, I have been depressed pretty much all night - that's why Chris and I went out to have some drinks. The poor little girl will need more surgery and also chemo. So, as the saying goes, bad things come in 3's. What the fuck is next??????

Defunct

Here is a really cool website that shows pictures of old amusement parks (several of which are in Ohio. Two of them I actually went to when I was young - Fantasy Farm and Americana (a.k.a. Lesourdesville Lake). Ahh, good times.

Yes, it's shedding season

I just brushed Hannah because she has been shedding like a mad woman. In fact, you can very easily pick clumps of hair off her hind legs, as if she just had chemotherapy. It's sick. So, this picture just illustrates the amount of hair I got off of her. And more could have gotten more.

OWNED

This is a pretty entertaining video. Watch it when you have a few minutes.


Owned Video - Click here for more amazing videos

The Best Current TV Commercial(s)

The new Target TV campaign is brilliant. So catchy and mesmerizing. And the music....I love it! I'll shop there just for their commercials. I apologize for the quality, but it was the only one I could find on YouTube.

My Poor Little Bunny

Hannah had to have some surgery done today at the vet. At her annual checkup, the vet noticed that she had a tooth that was severly infected. Turns out, she cracked a "slab" off one of her main molars and it was in the process of going rotten. Since she was going to have to be sedated to have her tooth removed, we decided to have a lump on the top of her back paw hacked off. So, when I picked my little girl up, she had a (slightly) bloody mouth and a wrapped foot. I don't think she was ever so happy to see me in her life. Now.....she sleeps. And sleeps. I'm just glad she doesn't have to wear one of those upside down lamp shades on her head. As Steve said, it wouldn't look "pretty".

Congratulations, Don and Gail

My parents have finally bought a house! It's only been about a year because they've been so picky about what they want. But, it finally paid off. Here it is. Congrats mom and dad!

The Embarrasment of Cincinnati Politics

The Cincinnati Banks Project is a joke. This project has been on the books since 1999. It is now 2007 and there is no progress. In the meantime, our neighbors over the river are making a mockery of Cincinnati and raking it in at the same time. Kudos to Northern Kentucky for not just talking about development, but actually DOING something about it. Here is just a sampling of what they have accomplished in a relatively short amount of time. No wonder why people don't want to go to downtown Cincinnati - there's nothing to go to. In the meantime, lots of people are flocking to Northern Kentucky for places like Newport on the Levee, Newport Aquarium, tons of new restaurants, and the soon-to-be Ascent. What does Cincinnati have? A parking lot. Yippee.

And, I Can't Argue...

Murphy's Lesser-Known Laws:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time.... on a hill....on
a curve...in the fog---on Hyw 93 Phoenix to Vegas..........

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those
who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

WTF?!?!

Who in the hell would wear something like this? Fa-reaks!

Some Random Funniness

My favorites are the little kids cursing. But, the elephant clip is pretty good too. Truly sick.

Waterloo!

Yes, that would be myself and Momma re-enacting the Waterloo scene from Muriel's Wedding. And damn, look at Momma's hair! Good thing we've grown up since then.

Van Jumping

This is awesome. I want to do this!

DirecTv SUCKS

We were out with our friends tonight having dinner a couple of drinks. Of course, we were all excited to get home and watch some good old Thursday night Must See TV. I'm so glad that we have DirecTv. It was such joy to watch our recorded favorite shows and having pixelation throughout all the episodes. It made for such a fun night of fill in the blank comedies. Then again, who's to say it's DirecTv. We've noticed that the local stations' HD programming have been fucked up in the past on several occasions. Regardless, we are not at all thrilled with the current HD service. Oh yea, it didn't rain tonight, so no dice there. Lesson learned for all you readers: if you expect a guaranteed recording while you're gone, don't count on it.

The More You Know (like the commercials): Rely on DirecTv, just like you do your local weather forecaster.

See, I Told Ya

I haven't written in over a week. That's sick. Anyway, I've been spending a lot of my time on my closet re-invention project. Let me break it down. I took out all my clothing, shoes, crap, whatnot, etc. I removed all the shelving and supports from the walls and started to paint. When I say started, I mean started, because I'm still not finished yet. Let me put it this way: after 3 coats of paint, the mother fucking walls are still not right. I won't go into the boring-ass details, but I had to take a hiatus after 3 days in a row of working on a 2 day project. So, all my shit is still scattered throughout the upstairs. I had zero desire to make it day 4 tonight. So, instead, I worked in the yard (considering it was 75 degrees outside). I also put gas in the Triumph and got is started. The brakes decided not to work so well, but at least I got it moved from the winter parked position to the summer parked position. (Note the picture). Anyway, the Godforsaken closet WILL get finished this weekend. I can guarantee that. Or else you can call me a liar. Which...would...be...true.

Yes, I've Been a Slacker

I haven't blogged in 4-eva. Like, totally. It's because I've been watch too much damn TV. Like now, for example (Deal or No Deal has me mesmerized). I have a feeling I won't be getting much better about it in the next several months too, since the weather is FINALLY getting warmer. Sidebar: the current contestant on DOND is a huge muscle-daddy wearing a kilt. Odd. But kind of hot. Back to slackerishness... I will also not be watching as much TV in the future because I have a closet to repaint and reconfigure. And we have a 1970 Triumph that could definitely use some upgrades. So, there. Piss off.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Fly Delta

Ebonics Airways

Shirley Q Liquor at the Dock!

Church Slave

30 Rock

OK, this show if brilliant. I thought that Lorne Michaels may have been washed up, but, no. It's totally worth spending a half hour a week listening to Tracy Morgan, Liz Lemon, Jack Donnegie, etc, etc. And you can't dismiss Jenna Maroney. She plays such a good dumb whore. Anyway, Chris started watching this show and I belly-ached about it for a while. However, I'm glad he made me watch, because I'm hooked now. Brilliance. That's all there is to it. You racist. (From the show). Check it out.

So, I Think the Party was a Success

Chris's 40th birthday party ended up going over without any major hitches (besides having to change location). I'm pretty sure a good time was had by all that made it. In the end, I think there were probably about 45-50 people that showed, but people trickled in and out, making the crowd very manageable. I would post some pictures, but, alas, my fucking camera is still broken. Rick Newell took several for us during the night, so I hope to be able to post some of his once he copies me on them. Thanks to everyone that showed up - I know that Chris and I had a blast. For those of you that said you would show up and didn't, well, go fuck yourselves. Just kidding. You people saved me on the bar tab.

Cold Weather

Chris and I were watching the news tonight and the anchor came up with a theory. His theory: Cold temperatures have thwarted murders in Cincinnati. (OK, I'm making up the numbers), but, in January there were 12 murders. in February, there were none until today (1), and it's because murderers are apparently pussies to cold. Hmmm.... me thinks news anchors should stick to what they do best, which would be reading cue cards. And wearing makeup. Then again, I'm talking about local newscasters.

Oh, and by the way, I have heard that Kit Andrews is truly a bitch. One of my friends was her producers. Kit = Evil Whore

I love the presidents

Not because I'm particulary into politics, but because I have the day off tomorrow. I went into work on Friday and someone mentioned the long weekend we have to look forward to. I was like, "what?" And then I was like, "Fuck an A! Sweet!" So, here I sit, watching Iron Chef where the secret ingredient is asparagas. Yuck. Regardless, this is a fun show. And all thanks go out to the presidents. Otherwise, my fat ass would be in bed.

Things to do when your co-workers go on vacation

In Stimpy's Words....."JOY"

From the local news website:

...But don’t expect to have it so easy Tuesday. A winter storm beginning overnight Monday is expected to bring freezing rain and sleet, and will ultimately dump between six and 10 inches of snow on the area, snarling on rush hour traffic both ways on Tuesday.

You Gotta Love the '70s

I want Bing Bang Boing.

I Neva Bin So Heppy in ma hol life!

Heavy Snow Warning

URGENT - WINTER WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE WILMINGTON OH
421 PM EST MON FEB 5 2007

INZ073>075-080-KYZ089>096-OHZ077-078-060530-
/O.CON.KILN.HS.W.0001.070206T1800Z-070207T0600Z/
RIPLEY-DEARBORN-OHIO-SWITZERLAND-CARROLL-GALLATIN-BOONE-KENTON-
CAMPBELL-OWEN-GRANT-PENDLETON-HAMILTON-CLERMONT-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...VERSAILLES...LAWRENCEBURG...
RISING SUN...VEVAY...CARROLLTON...WARSAW...BURLINGTON...
INDEPENDENCE...ALEXANDRIA...OWENTON...WILLIAMSTOWN...FALMOUTH...
CINCINNATI...MILFORD
421 PM EST MON FEB 5 2007

...HEAVY SNOW WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 1 PM TUESDAY TO 1 AM
EST WEDNESDAY...

A HEAVY SNOW WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 1 PM TUESDAY TO 1 AM
EST WEDNESDAY.

A CLIPPER SYSTEM WILL BRING SNOW TO THE AREA LATE TUESDAY MORNING
INTO THE EVENING. WITH THE ARCTIC AIR IN PLACE ACROSS THE
REGION...IT IS LIKELY THAT 3 TO 5 INCHES OF SNOW WILL FALL DURING
THIS TIME.

REMEMBER...A HEAVY SNOW WARNING MEANS SEVERE WINTER WEATHER
CONDITIONS ARE IMMINENT OR HIGHLY LIKELY.

Nitsch Nitsch

Leo

OK, I agree with most of it, but I love to work???? I think that piece is a tad bit off.

Leo
(July 23 – August 22)

Leo boys have strong characters, if they decide to live openly, they will be most flamboyant. If they decide to hide and refuse their sexual orientation, they'll live two different lives. They like adventures in love and harbor some false feelings toward their lovers. They enjoy playing with the feelings of others but need to be loved and wanted anyway. It’s very usual to see the Leo boy in more than one love relation, they enjoy playing the Casanova roll. They are very intelligent, and love to work. They are fortunate enough to obtain high job positions and have an excellent economic situation. A lot of gay boys want to have a relationship with this boy. Their behavior is usually comical and slapstick. They need to be the center of everyone's universe. They are arrogant and want to be noticed. They'll do anything to obtain their goals. They are too emotional, and do not fall in love very often, but when they do there are rockets flying through the air and ships coming into port. They are always sure of themselves because they know a big star illuminates over them. This is one of the most daring and valorous gays of the zodiac. They love situations and accepting big dares.

Outtakes - Hilarious!

Click here to see some outtakes from Campus Ladies. My favorites were the Truth or Dare and Prarie-Dogging 101 clips. I almost shit myself laughing several times.

Hannah is so helpful

Yesterday, when Chris and I were shoveling the driveway, Hannah put her heart and soul into helping us. She tried removing the snow from the driveway (via biting at it and rolling around in it). She also helped compact the snow as to keep it from blowing away. However, you know how kids sometimes go outside the line when they're coloring? Well, she did a bit of that too. But, I can understand, since she's only 7 (almost 8) years old. Oh yeah, she also tried helping melt some of the snow by throwing up in it. My little helper. What more could a man ask for?

Yes, please

Forgotten Terms

I watched Smoky & The Bandit I and II this past weekend...don't ask, I was bored. BUT, there are some classic curses/insults that have virtually disappeared from the American vocabulary. What, you ask, could they be? Well, the first is sum-bitch. As in, that sum-bitch just hit my car! The second is tick-turd. I think this one is self-explanatory. Regardless, I think we need to revive these forgotten gems. So, use them frequently, you sum-bitchin' tick-turds!

Falling/Tripping

Why is it so funny to see people fall? I know I have a sick sense of humor, but I fucking LOVE when I see someone wipe out. It makes me giggle. It brightens my day. That's all it takes. Of course, I wouldn't laugh (out loud) if someone got really hurt by falling. But, most of the time, it's innocent and brilliantly funny! So, take a spill, America. I'll laugh violently at you!

Holy Blast From the Past

I'm here sorting through a bunch of CDs of pictures that I've burned. However, I happened upon my younger sister's wedding CD. Holy Shit. Y'all have to see some of these pictures. It's 70's-a-licious. Notice - I was a total toe-head before puberty. Regardless, this shit if G-D funny!

Don't forget, most are pictures of my younger sister for her wedding. But there are some quality pictures of yours truely. All class.

P.S. Here are SO many more.

P.P.S. How hot are those shorts my mom outfitted me with? Now wonder why I like boys

Speaking of the Past

Look how fucking cute!!!

Yes, I Was (and am) a Dork

Here is the very first digital picture taken of me back in '97. It's pre-gay, pre-Britton, pre-anything. Yes, it's a look into my loserish past. But, it is what it is. Now do you know why my friends referred to me as Brillo Pad?

You Don't Know Me

LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one who brought them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day


Here's Jim.


Here's the rest.

My Next Car

I know I'll have to wait at least until next year, but it's going to be totally worth it. Here it is. The Lexus IS-F. 400 horsepower. Probably $400(00).00 (if not more). It will be worth the wait. Watch out people, I'll be out of control on the road...as if I'm not already.

New Yeeuhs

Here are some pictures of New Years at Rob & Jim's newly-expanded, refreshed abode. It was a small, yet fun gathering with WAYYYYY too much food. Thanks a lot guys for making us Hansel & Gretel. On the flip side, my fucking camera broke while we were there - I keep getting a System Error 10 on the display. I'm sure that can't be good. But, at least a got a few good pics. My favorite is the one of the wristband. Great gift, Chris and Brian! I wear a new one to work every day now.

Reality Blows

I hate going back to work after a nice, long, alcoholic holiday. It's like a kick in the nuts....a lot of moaning, belly-aching and ball-busting. Plus, I'm fat. I endulged like it was my last day on earth for two weeks. I've decided that if I ever did become a Mr. Dad-Stay-at-Home, I'd blimp up like Anna Nicole did. Oh well, I digress. At least it's only a 4 day work week this week. AND, I get MLK day off. So, at least I'm sort of easing back into it. However, next week will be a full week of work. Maybe I'm getting sick. *cough cough* Nevermind, that sounds too much like I'm getting checked for a hernia. That's no good. I know - I think I'll develop something that requires perigoric. YES! (And shamlessly, I've brought that term into yet another one of my posts). Bygones.